Late Arrival
by Aquamarine Lights
Summary: Kakashi is very late to pick up his Genin team. Ranma accidently teleports. And the early bird gets the worm...
1. The Early Bird

Author's Note: Inspired by Largo's story, the idea of Ranma becoming Team 7's teacher because Kakashi is late just wouldn't leave me alone. This is the result.

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Naruto did not like waiting. In fact, he hated waiting, as it took away time he could use for important things, like training to become Hokage and ramen. So, it did not truly surprise anyone in his new team that after waiting for their teacher for over an hour, he resorted to rigging up a simple trap, putting the chalkboard eraser in the space between the door and the wall.

It did surprise them, however, when he suddenly scrambled away from the door as if it tried to bite him.

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Ever since Saffron and the fight at Jusendo, Ranma knew there were still opponents stronger than him out there, people, if he could really call something like Saffron a person, that he simply could not beat without resorting to killing. He had barely beaten Saffron at all. That knowledge did not sit well with him. So, ever since then, he had spent any free time he could scrounge up, which was depressingly little with all the rivals and fiancees orbiting around him and making a mess of his already crazy life, to try and learn techniques that he could use to tip the scales in the case of another overpowered opponent.

The first problem with this idea was that, aside from his father, which had already taught him everything he had (unless he was hiding something else like the sealed techniques), he couldn't think of anyone who knew techniques on his level and was willing to teach them to him. For that, his solution was obvious. His usual strategy is to copy and steal anything his enemies use against him, then improve on it and beat them with that will once more prove itself.

The first things to come to mind were Ryoga's Bakusai Tenketsu and Mousse's Hidden Weapons.

He already knew the training for the Bakusai Tenketsu and the theory behind it, which made learning that easy, if very painful. He had a few ideas for improving on it, but he would keep that for after the memory of the pain caused by the training disappears. Hidden Weapons was a lot harder.

The problem with learning Mousse's technique was that he simply had no idea what it actually _was_, only what it did. Every Martial Artist beyond a certain level used it on a minor, instinctual level, hell, even _Akane_ had regularly employed it to store her Mallets (and Ranma knew for sure there was a lot more than a single Mallet in there). What Mousse did went far beyond that, and after some careful watching when Mousse had last attacked him, Ranma believed he was actually opening and closing minor gateways to his personal ki sort-of-pockets inside of his robes. This allowed him to form, for about a second, a portal that could theoretically contain any ranged attack, or another that would let out something that went in the first one.

The technique was far too valuable not to learn, and he was simply lucky that Mousse never thought to use it to do more than store weapons and spare glasses.

Of course, he couldn't get Mousse to teach it to him, so he had to try and figure it out on his own.

A full week of spending all of his precious free time putting things in and out of his ki pockets, and he was starting to get a feel for how to open a gateway. Of course, that meant he tried using Hidden Weapons to store anything and everything he owned, and when that really didn't bother him much he simply tried stuffing every boulder he saw in his ki-pockets.

That attempt brought an obvious flaw to the technique to his attention. He _could not_, no matter how much he tried, store any boulders bigger then Happosai is tall using the technique without breaking them apart first. Of course, knowing Akane's Mallets were often bigger than that, he went about trying to physically stretch the gateways. The first problem with that was that keeping the gateways open for any significant length of time was very, _very_ draining. The second was that if he managed to stretch _one_ gateway, it didn't change any of the gateways he opened _later_. On a much more positive note, Ranma had been very glad to discover that things could only be fully inside the ki-pockets or fully outside of them, not in-between, which meant he could safely use his hands to do the stretching without risking losing fingers.

Ranma was just about to give up and chalk that issue up to repetition and practice, when he noticed that the exit gateways could spew out many things at once, with no such size limitations. After that, he had simply stopped using the entry gateways to store more than air, instead using exit gateways to expel large masses of air, allowing him to fit larger things through while air was still coming out.

Of course, nothing ever goes smoothly for Ranma, and, having gained the ability to form gateways big enough, he made the mistake of trying to enter himself so he could see where it actually led. Thinking back on it, Ranma really couldn't tell how he ever imagined that would be a good idea, what he was thinking to actually go through with it, or if he was thinking at all.

Regardless, he had found himself standing in what seemed to be an endless and lifeless plain, covered with everything he had put inside of his ki-pocket. Only instead of a sky, he saw a large mass of flowing, soft blue light. When the light reacted to his surprise, he had realized with shock it was his Ki replacing the sky here.

His next revelation was that he was very, very lucky he had stored large amounts of air in here, otherwise this would have been a very dangerous, and very short visit. One way or the other.

Of course, he didn't really know how to get _out_. After wandering around in search of an exit for some time, he discovered the damn place looped every time he left the area where there were things he put here, and that moving things farther from each other only gave him more space to wander around in.

Eventually, he tried opening a gateway again. To his surprise, it worked. When he left through it, however, he had no idea where he was. Or why he was now a girl with no water in sight.

##############################################

Naruto's reaction to the door quickly became clear, as it suddenly sort-of-rippled, and a short, busty, redheaded girl walked through. Sakura jumped in surprise, while Sasuke tried to reach for a kunai and jump away while still sitting on the desk, and ended up falling backwards.

He clearly did throw a kunai somewhere in that, as the redhead was now holding it, blinking in obvious surprise, mumbling something about not playing with the fabric of reality carelessly again. Then Naruto, being himself, burst in excitement and Shouted.

"That was awesome! If I learn that Jutsu, old man Hokage will have to retire and give me that hat when I use it to appear in front of his face! Hey, sensei, teach me that Jutsu you just did!"

Ranma blinked.

"Sensei! You're late! We were waiting for you all day!" Sakura added, releasing her frustration from having to wait long after all other teams had left with their new teachers.

Sasuke was eying the redhead suspiciously. "This is our sensei?" She did catch that kunai disturbingly easily. And he could admit to himself he did want to know what she did to get here like she did.

"Sensei? What makes you think I will teach you anything?" Ranma was confused. This, unfortunately was nothing new. The source of that confusion however, was. If these kids knew Ranma's reputation as a Martial Artist, they should have known his, or at the time, her training would be too harsh for them. If they didn't, however, why did they ask her to teach them?

"We were waiting for you for hours! We are ready for any training you can throw at us!" Naruto answered before Sakura or Sasuke could respond.

At this, Ranma smiled a predatory smile that disturbed both Sakura and Sasuke. 'Perfect! Now I can show them exactly why everyone calls my training insane, and they won't be in any shape to keep bothering me even if they don't give up outright...'

"Okay, if you really think you are ready for my training, I will test you! If you pass the test, I will teach you, but if you don't, you have to promise to stop bothering me."

"But we already passed the Genin exam!" Sakura protested.

"My training, my rules." Ranma concluded, with a tinge of satisfaction.

"We'll pass your test easily, and then you'll have to acknowledge us!" Naruto exclaimed

'Well, what would get these brats off of my back without hurting them...' Ranma was wondering, and then she had it. "Simple. Keep us with me all the way. Go!" And with that, Ranma jumped outside from the window, heading to the forest while passing on, over, and around buildings seemingly at random.

The three Genin only spent a moment to collect themselves, and they were off after her, roof hopping wherever they could. It was hard, but they managed to keep sight of Ranma for a while.

Then they got to the forest.

##############################################

Ranma was honestly surprised. Kids their age normally can't do half that well, Martial Artists or not. Sure, she was holding back, but she was older _and _she was the best. Time to get to the fun part. 'Okay, we're at the forest, now I need to find some bees...'

##############################################

For the first time in their memory, Naruto and Sasuke agreed completely and without question about something. "Our sensei is completely insane!" Naruto was screaming to be heard over the buzzing of millions of angry bees, constantly spamming shadow clones to lead _bees _away from them, while Sasuke looked like he strongly agreed, but was too busy breathing fire at the _bees_ to talk. Sakura was hysterically screaming and trying to keep Naruto and Sasuke between her and the ever-growing swarm of _**angry bees.**_

When they got into the forest, it looked like they were catching up. Then their sensei threw a beehive at their feet, covering them with honey and dizzy angry bees. They were fortunate that they didn't stop running, as the bees quickly recovered and gave chase.

Screaming at their redheaded sensei that she was cheating was quickly written of as a waste of breath, as every few minutes, she threw another beehive at them. Really, the only reason they hadn't lost her yet was that red hair stood out very clearly in the middle of the forest.

For her part, Ranma was impressed. The pink-haired girl was dealing with the bees as well as she expected, but the black-haired kid caught her by surprise when he started making some weird handsigns and breathing fireballs at the bees that got too close to him. And then the blond in the orange jumpsuit started sending out clones to distract the bees. And by the way they disturbed the forest, they seemed real. Real, blood-and-flesh clones! If there was any way Ranma could learn that around here, she was staying for a while! This place was awesome!

##############################################

Hours later, three new Genin were staring up at their redheaded teacher with pure hellish hatred.

"You're crazy." Sasuke wheezed out from his position on the ground. All three of them were lying on the ground, covered with bee stings, scratches from branches and bushes, battered and beaten and completely exhausted from an entire day of running away from bees, wolves, more bees, a bear, and even more bees. They didn't know there were that many bees in the forest! The wolves and the bear gave up when they started tree hopping, but the bees were as determined to _hurt them_ as before, only they could also attack from below. They could clearly understand exactly why everyone in their class were scared of Shino. If fighting him was anything like this, they stood no chance.

"Ha!" Naruto managed, after getting his breath back. "We passed your stupid test, now you have to teach us!" Despite his condition, interestingly better than both others although he was stung more, Naruto was glowing with pride that they had managed to follow their sensei, regardless of anything that happened on the way.

Sakura had, fifteen minutes into the chase, managed to relax, and had since been keeping an eye on the swarm of bees, warning the group to kawarimi away whenever they got surrounded. Now she was too exhausted to talk, and a panicked voice in her head kept mumbling about attempted murder and torture, yet she was still satisfied. She had helped, she did her part, although a bit late, and helped Sasuke-kun!

Ranma was just leaning over them, smiling widely. "You pass." She was happy, and excited. She was now a teacher, and her students looked like they have potential! Even the pink-haired girl, once she calmed down, had made a good showing of strategical thinking, and revealed a replacement technique that looked much better than the one Konatsu used! All the new techniques! Maybe this wasn't such a stupid mistake to get here after all.

"Now that we will be working together, we need to introduce ourselves. I'm Ranma Saotome, heir to the the Anything Goes school of Martial Arts. Your turn."

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage, and I love ramen! Remember it!" Naruto exclaimed with energy he really shouldn't have had at the time.

"Uchiha Sasuke, top rookie."

"Haruno Sakura, top scorer on the written test." Sakura finished with a blushing glance that would have been obvious, if not for her cheeks being reddened from exertion anyways, towards the Uchiha kid.

"Well, now that we all know each other, get some sleep and meet me here tomorrow at eight in the morning so the _real_ training can start." Ranma concluded with a smirk.

Somehow, all three Genin were sure this was going to hurt.


	2. D Rank Mission

Author's Note: Ranma is **not** locked, the trigger just changed a little, and I try to keep my pronouns gender consistent. If I explain everything I write right away, there will be no surprises! There is a reason for the new trigger, it is more than just 'I felt like it', and is actually relevant to how the universe works in my story.

Also, in regards to Henge, in my story its an illusion, which means Naruto can't turn into a shuriken and get thrown like one. I simply can't see a way actual shapeshifting isn't totally game-breaking, so its just an illusion here.

* Gourmet De Foie Gras comes from an Anime only episode, "Bonjour, Furinkan!"

** The room Ranma had appeared in had served to test the Ninjutsu of every single Academy student only a day prior to his arrival, and then had all the jonin taking teams (except Kakashi), carrying full gear, including Summoning Contracts, enter to take their teams just an hour prior. The place was **saturated **with Chakra. Plus I really wanted Team Seven to meet Ranma in girl form.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and Naruto belong to their respective authors. I make no money from this, nor am I attempting or planning to.

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After leaving the three battered Genin in the clearing where she stopped, Ranma was headed to town to figure out where she actually was. And to collect training supplies. Oh, this will be fun... Now Ranma will finally get to be the one who is watching students suffer in vague amusement, after all the years spent being the one suffering! Maybe she will even understand how Genma felt teaching her. Understanding him better should make predicting his hair-brained schemes easier...

#######################################

"Castle walls." Ranma was shocked, mumbling to herself. "_Why?_ Why would anyone surround this town with full scale freaking castle walls?" More interesting was how she had left with all three students without ever noticing those walls, but thinking about _that_ was only going to result in a headache. Getting back inside only required a single jump, using the walls themselves to obscure herself from guards on the way in.

Of course, after getting in, it was clear that Ranma Saotome was very, _very_ lost. 'Did I suddenly turn into Ryoga? How did I ever manage to get here? Ninja everywhere, what could only be Mount Rushmore in the background, no cars, what the hell? Did I somehow travel back in time to America? No, people here speak Japanese, and I'm pretty sure Ninja come from Japan as well, so what the hell?' Really, Ranma was hard pressed to remember a time when she was more confused then right now. Oh, she could, Genma's training could get very creative, painful, and disorienting. But right now she was fully aware and fully incapable of understanding where she was.

Deciding thinking more about it wouldn't help anyone, Ranma spotted a cup of tea, snatched it at Amaguriken speeds, and before anyone noticed, a quick turn around the corner and a gender change later, Ranma was hunting for information. But first, food.

#######################################

Ranma's first discovery was that he had no real money here, as currency was measured in something called "Ryo", which made his first priority to get some local currency. After finding a few would-be-robbers generous enough to volunteer to help solve _that_ problem, Ranma went all around the town, which was apparently called Konohagakure, visiting every restaurant or eatery he could find that was reasonably cheep (as far as he could tell) to use up every coin from his newfound savings eating. While listening in to conversations.

Fortunately for him, someone who was impressed with his ability to obliterate food had challenged him to an eating contest, betting the price of the food they would eat plus a nice extra sum to buy tomorrow's meal with. Ranma was shocked at how good his opponent was. Sure, he had been eating around for an hour before, but still, without using Hidden Weapons and Gourmet De Foie Gras* to store food away when he was full, he would have lost! He was looking forward to a proper rematch when they would both be hungry, and from the guy's speech about 'restoring the pride of the Akimichi Clan!' he would have it as soon as they met again.

Happy and with a full stomach and new savings, Ranma reflected on what he had learned about Konoha. The most important and most obvious detail was a Very Bad Thing. The sun had gone down, and the stars were completely unfamiliar. Not only that, when he saw a map, it looked like one of those game-maps Hiroshi and Daisuke sometimes looked at far more than like an actual place on Earth.

Since he saw no signs of being trapped in a game, Ranma had concluded this was another planet, and he had somehow teleported himself away from Earth. This conclusion would hold in his mind until disproven.

'Hmmm, what else was there... Less significant but still important, this world revolves around Ninja. Really. The stone monument that looks like Mount Rushmore is actually a memorial for past village Ninja-leaders, called "Hokage".' Interesting, since if he remembered right, that Uzumaki kid wanted to earn the title. Weird name, really. It sounds like he mixed up the order of his first and last names, which actually wouldn't be too far-fetched from what he had seen of the kid. 'Come to think of it, didn't the others also do that? Must be some tradition around here...'

'Really, Naruto's chances don't look very good. The last Hokage is said to have died taking out a mountain-sized Demon God attacking the village. That sounds way too much like a larger Saffron to me... Really, it sounds like the standards for the job are always rising. Good way to make sure the Hokage really is the best the village could have, actually.'

'Thing whole place is like a bad joke.' Ranma would have laughed had anyone suggested to him there was another planet out there where life revolved around Ninja, but the proof was right in front of him. 'Worse, now I somehow ended up stuck teaching one of their mini-Ninja teams, and if I can't trick them into thinking I really am supposed to do that, I will have the only place I know on the damn **planet** out for my blood...'

#######################################

Kakashi was annoyed. When he had come to meet his new prospective Genin, he expected complaints, traps, screaming, and even the small possibility of being attacked by particularly bad-tempered and impatient Genin. What he did _not_ expect, however, was this. "They just... left." Really, they had the opportunity to finally graduate the Academy and take their first steps as true Ninja in service of Konoha. Arguably the most important occasion in most Ninja's lives. And just because he was late by a mere three hours, they left.

When he had first opened the door and the chalkboard eraser dropped on his head, he had already prepared to start messing with the new Genin-hopefuls, only to find them missing, and the prank a vindictive and childish way of getting their revenge on him.

He had searched the entire Academy, and since he couldn't believe they could hide from a former ANBU Captain, had been forced to admit they just decided he wouldn't show up, and simply took off.

Really, he couldn't just let this go.

They were expected to be Ninja, and that meant following orders. If they couldn't even wait less than a day for their Jonin sensei to arrive, they were not ready to be Ninja. With that, Kakashi had made his decision. It was too bad about Uchiha, but there's still next near. Maybe they will be more mature by then.

Telling the Hokage might be hard, but he could just fill in the paperwork and wait for the Hokage to call him to confirm after he already knows. They just weren't ready yet.

Team Seven failed due to absence.

#######################################

Ranma found the Ninja Academy.

He also took its existence as proof this whole world was an enormous practical joke.

'The whole concept of a school for Ninja is ridiculous even for my standards. Although definitely a better choice than Furinkan, this is stupid.' Still, this is where Ranma could steal their Ninja secrets. And a headband for his Ninja disguise.

Ranma was using the Umisenken to do this. The decision was hard, but when he listed everything trying to kill him now, he could easily say his life was in great danger. Apparently, that Demon God the fourth Hokage took down was only one of **nine** they knew about around here. Not only that, he was alone in a foreign world, surrounded by Super Ninja who will probably try to kill him if he is caught stealing, either their secrets or students. Right now, the best option Ranma could see was to use their numbers against them.

Since there were so many Ninja around here, it was only expected they didn't all know each other, which meant he _could_ go around pretending to be a legitimate Ninja-teacher. He just needed to know what a Ninja teacher did. And a headband, as those were apparently vital symbols of Ninja-ism.

Taking a headband was actually really easy, as what few defenses they had were designed against sub-par Ninja children, _not_ superhuman Martial Artist prodigies. After grabbing every scroll he could find and storing it using Hidden Weapons, Ranma left the Academy in dire need of.

#######################################

On his way out of the Ninja Academy, Ranma was surprised as a white-haired Ninja with an eyepatch teleported next to him in a swirl of leaves, leaving him suddenly female. Somewhat surprisingly, this looked to be coincidence, as the Ninja seemed oblivious to Ranma's presence, cloaked by the Umisenken as she was. Deciding to investigate the sudden unexplained Gender switches tomorrow, Ranma took the opportunity to learn about what she believed to be a Ninja-teacher.

While having fun, of course. "Hey!" Ranma chirped happily, dropping the Umisenken right behind the Ninja.

It was only due to Ranma's superb reflexes and speed that she caught all the kunai thrown at her nearly instantly by the surprised Ninja in a ki-pocket. "That wasn't very friendly." She pouted at him, inwardly impressed by the reaction. These Ninja were good!

"And you should have knows sneaking up behind a Jonin isn't very smart." Eyepatch-Ninja replied, relaxing as it became apparent he wasn't under attack.

"I didn't try to sneak up on you," Ranma added happily. "You were just really spaced out!"

"Sorry, its just that a Genin team I was looking forward to left because I was just a little late." Eyepatch-Ninja sighed. "I had to fail them for not following orders and waiting for their sensei."

Ranma winced, having a good idea as to what team he was talking about. Eyepatch-Ninja, however, took that as a sign of sympathy, and continued.

"Its just depressing. Every year I get wannabees who don't deserve to be Genin to fail, and when a team finally looks promising, they can't wait a little." Eyepatch-Ninja complained. "Its like the Ninja these days can't grasp the concept of teamwork. They never even try. So they always fail my test. And when there is finally a chance for a decent team, they can't even wait for me to get there."

"What about you? What do you test them for?" He suddenly turned the conversation to Ranma. Of everyone, this was one person who absolutely must not know of her students. So Ranma just tried winging it. "I only started out, I didn't get to try a team yet, but I'm planning of testing their determination and their conviction in their beliefs." 'Well, and endurance and skill.' At least she was pretty sure about that. That test was meant to get them to give up.

Eyepatch-Ninja looked impressed. "Hatake Kakashi" he offered his hand, and Ranma decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and follow suit. "Saotome Ranma" She shook hands, having introduced herself according to what she was pretty sure naming conventions were here.

This was turning out to be great information, and she was even making friends who didn't yet-Oh. Actually he did try to kill her already. Well, his reasons were much better than most, really.

Time to go find Ninja-teachers. Jonin, if she remembered correctly.

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Ranma was proud of herself. After talking to Kakashi, who had given her names and descriptions of other jonin with teams she should know, she had managed to hunt down and engage in conversation with both Kurenai Yuhi and Maito Guy, although Sarutobi Asuma had already gone to sleep long before she started searching. Everyone else said this is normal for him.

'That Guy person is impressive. Might even make for a good sparring partner. Even this late he was still going strong at his training! Although the weird youth obsession is a bit disturbing. He was far to happy that someone as young as me had "managed to make Jonin". And I really have to find a way to get him to wear something less offensive...'

Ranma was actively attempting to _not_ think about the effect that suit had, combined with that horrible haircut, and those monster eyebrows. The youth-obsessed Ninja was still human. Probably.

'Yuhi though, that was the best information I got at once since I turned up in this place. And that includes the Academy!' Ranma had finally learned exactly what was expected of a "Jonin Sensei" in this place. And she had already started preparing to do it. And there was still the Curse acting up to think about. She will have no sleep tonight.

#######################################

"This sucks." Ranma was annoyed. "For two years, I wanted to at least have more control over the Curse, even just a way to predict when it would happen. But now, now, it does _this_." After sneaking around all night, changing and forging documents so as to pass a cursory inspection looking like a proper Konoha Ninja, and making sure that her team was official and had _not_ been marked as failed, Ranma was pretty sure she knew what happened with the Curse.

Somehow, being close to large amounts of this "Chakra" activated the Curse. That isn't to say cold water stopped doing it, just that now Ninja carelessly throwing their power around _also_ qualified as a threat to Ranma's maleness.**

Still muttering to herself, tired, and grumpy, Ranma was headed to the clearing where she had told her new team to meet her. "Really, the only good thing about this is that now it should be easy to keep the Curse a secret from the students. Being anywhere near Naruto means being constantly bombarded with Chakra. Although I wish we would have met when I was a guy." 'Come to think of it, now I get to put those kids through _training_. This should cheer me up easy enough! Although I still didn't get to reading those scrolls, so I don't really have an idea at to what the limits to those Ninja-powers are... I guess I'll just have to find out the old fashioned way!'

Supplies for training were harder to come by here then expected, but that Guy person had some good suggestions as to where Ranma should go looking. And now she was fully equipped to drive her new students to the ground. This will be fun!

She didn't have to wait long. Soon, Naruto's voice had announced her students' arrival. She hid in the trees, waited until they got to the clearing, then used Ki to give her voice a deep, echoing quality, while flexing out the Soul Of Ice.

#######################################

Naruto and Sasuke were not fighting, nor were they baiting each other. Not _that_ unusual alone, except they were also stuck together in the same Genin team, with nothing pressing to do except walk, and Sakura for their third team member. The Same Sakura Naruto had been asking out for dates every day since the Sakura had started the Academy. The same Sakura that was widely known as one of Sasuke's two most prominent and driven fangirls.

This was not a heralding sign of The End Of The World, but simply a temporary alliance to battle a greater threat. Their Jonin Sensei.

When they could finally move again, all three Genin had agreed wholeheartedly that their sensei was not simply insane, but that she was probably also trying to kill them in order to avoid having to teach. That meant they had all come to their meeting fully stocked on kunai,explosive notes, ninja wire, smoke bombs, and anything else they could think of that they could carry without lowering their mobility.

It also meant they were on full alert, and all three were far more concerned about their chances to survive today then they were about any of their usual quarrels.

"She isn't here." Sasuke was eying the clearing they were now in carefully.

"Do you think she will be late again?" Sakura asked, a tinge of fear at the memory of yesterday's events creeping into her voice.

"I don't thi-" They never got to hear what Naruto didn't think, as the air suddenly seemed to grow colder, and they heard the echoing voice of a Demon. "**Hello there, students.**"

All three had whirled around, Sasuke throwing three kunai wrapped with explosive notes, Naruto throwing a smoke bomb, and Sakura using kawarimi to get away onto the trees.

None of them could tell what happened to the kunai, as they could hear no explosion, but when the voice spoke again through the smoke, although no longer sounding like in came from a deep dark abyss, they decided their initial assessment of the voice belonging to a Demon was accurate. It was their sensei.

"You really need to stop doing that. If I was an enemy, why in the world would I warn you before I attack?" The smirk that was certainly accompanying that voice was almost audible. "Anyway, good responses. Especially you, Sakura. If the enemy spotted you before you spotted them, the first thing to do is to get away from your current position. Good job."

After waiting in tense silence for the smoke to disperse, the three Genin could see that, yes, this was indeed their evil, homicidal sensei.

"Well, today you will have your first mission." At that, the Genin couldn't help but cheer up and look hopeful to their newfound glory as Konoha Ninja. The smirk on their sensei's face had all but assured them this will not be a good thing, and excitement was quickly replaced by paranoia. Even Naruto's boundless enthusiasm died a quick death under the tide of thoughts of what their sensei do to try and kill them.

#######################################

A long and torturous walk to the Hokage Tower later, during which their sensei would not stop smiling, and at some points was even humming to herself, and Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were all nervous to the point of nearing full-blown panic, their imagination driving them ever closer to the breaking point, their sensei was selecting a D-rank mission.

At this point, the concept of her only having the easiest missions to select from had actually calmed the Genin down somewhat, to the obvious surprise of the chunin at the desk of the mission office, who was probably expecting new Genin hopefuls to be overambitious, especially considering who Naruto and Sasuke were.

After a few nerve-wrecking minutes, during which their sensei had expressed obvious distaste to a mission the Genin had learned from the now-smiling chunin was about capturing a lost cat, Ranma had picked out a mission, they left, and the Genin were all prepared for the worst.

They they learned they were supposed to pick vegetable from a field.

"Sensei! Why do we have to do this? We are Ninja now, aren't we supposed to do Ninja things, like fight off bandits, or rescue people from certain death?" Naruto exploded in protest to what was, to him, a complete lack of acknowledgment of his hard-earned Ninja skills.

Sasuke, looking somewhat wary, added: "I hate to agree with the dobe here, but isn't this a civilian chore?"

Sakura, quick to agree with her crash, nodded vehemently to show her support.

Smirk never dropping, Ranma simply responded: "You aren't near ready for any real missions yet, and this is a good way to train while still making money. Remember, **everything** is training if you try to make it training. And I have a lot of experience with that."

While the Genin were thinking about that, they got to said field. Ranma quickly started unloading _something_ they couldn't see from what appeared to be thin air, and before the Genin could recover and ask what was going on, Ranma started shouting orders.

"Okay, This really is a chore if you just have to pick the vegetables as it is, so I brought these to make things more interesting." At that, Ranma gestured to what could loosely be termed bunnies, if you ignored the razor-sharp claws, the obviously carnivorous teeth, the wickedly barbed horns, and them being half as tall as a horse, all tied up in a pile. Sakura counted ten of them.

As the Genin could do nothing but stare with wide-eyed horror, Ranma continued. "Now, I found these things in one of the Ninja Training Grounds around here, number forty-four if I remember correctly. Of course, just killing them wouldn't be so hard, so you will have to pick the vegetables _and_ keep them safe while I let these things loose. You may capture them, and bruises are fine, but don't seriously injure them. If you try to injure them, I will throw rocks at you. Begin."

And, before the horrified Genin could do more than mentally decide to avoid training ground forty-four as long as they lived, Ranma cut the bindings on the bunny-things, and disappeared.

Once again, Team Seven was unified far beyond its natural limits by concentrated fear for their lives, and every one of them was convinced. 'She really is trying to kill us!'

From that point forward, things got worse. At first, the Genin tried to capture the bunny-things. Then they learned, through cuts and bruises, that capturing a hostile target without truly hurting it was **much** harder than killing one. Then they learned their sensei was serious about throwing rocks at them. They didn't know where she was throwing them _from_, or where she got so many in the first place, but it soon became clear that fist-sized rocks traveling much faster than they could throw kunai were impossible for them to deflect successfully, and left very painful bruises, even when blocked. Which meant Naruto's Shadow Clones were instantly destroyed. Since they didn't know where they were coming from, they couldn't dodge them in time, either. Sasuke couldn't even attempt a fireball without receiving a rock to the face for his trouble. Kunai, shuriken, explosive notes, and ninja wire all simply disappeared before getting to do anything. Smoke bombs helped the bunny-things more then they helped the Genin.

When Sakura suggested kawarimi, it seemed like a good solution, except another rock always hit them when they got to their destination, reducing that idea to a waste of chakra.

Very bruised and battered, and now low on supplies, their foes only tired from beating on them, Team Seven resorted to strategy. Naruto, with his insane stamina and shadow clones, would keep the bunny-things busy and distract them. Sasuke, with his quick reflexes and sharp eyesight, exceptional even with the Sharingan still dormant, would pick all vegetables and throw them to Sakura, who would put them in their boxes at the corner of the field and guard them.

Desperation shining in their eyes, Team Seven were determined not to die.

#######################################

The fields have drank from their blood, the beasts have torn into them, and the rocks have knocked them down again and again, yet they had triumphed! The boxes were full and safe, the field was empty, and the Genin were exhausted and bleeding on the ground. Again.

Sometime after they started implementing their strategy, Naruto had somehow got his clones to litter the areas Sasuke had already picked out of vegetables with pit traps while still playing bunny-bait, then covered them with the rocks Ranma had thrown at them before when one of the bunny-things fell in. When they finished, Ranma only had to tie up three of the bunny-things. The rest she removed from the pits, the rocks probably going back wherever they came from.

Then she put the bunny-things back into the nothing she had taken them out of.

Looking up at their homicidal teacher, all three Genin stared at her with defiance.

"We, *gasp* will, *gasp* not, *gasp* die." Sasuke had forced out, both other Genin nodding their agreement as well as their condition allowed.

"This was nothing to those bees!" Naruto finished, eliciting a synchronized shudder at the memory. They will stand united against this enemy, and they will live!

#######################################

Ranma was happy with her students. At first they tried capturing the things like they would a human being. Obviously, that ended badly.

Then they tested her threat. That was good, as they needed to learn that cheating is part of their job description, and learning to cheat without getting caught was one of the main tenets to Anything Goes. This was where she was disappointed, as they were as subtle about it as a rampaging boar. Of course, that didn't work, as they haven't even made any half-decent attempts at cheating. 'Hmm, I will have to work on finding a way to force them to cheat properly on the next one...'

Then, their potential had truly shined. Their strategy was formed quickly, with almost no disagreements, and it was implemented perfectly, with some genius originality and unpredictability that was the trademark of Anything Goes from Naruto digging those pit traps.

Overall, this was a good start. She was impressed. There were no broken bones at all!

Then her students pulled their little stunt of defiance. 'Oww, they bonded together against me already! That's adorable! I need to work more on their training, that wasn't supposed to happen until later...'

Well, time to finish this. "Correct. As long as you keep improving like you have you probably won't die." Somehow, that didn't seem to encourage them any.

"In case you were wondering, I keep using animals in your training because animals have no morals. You see, people would hesitate and reason about trying to actually kill another human being. With animals I have no such problems. They will try to kill you so they can eat, in order to survive. There will be no mercy, so you will have to give everything you have to surviving. And survival is the best motivation you are ever going to have." 'There we are! Now they are properly terrified again!'

"Well, now that you finally finished, come on back so we can collect the reward!" Ranma's smile was as bright and devoid of mercy as ever.

Three Genin began wondering what madness had possessed them to sign on to this.


	3. First Steps

Author's Note: After reading the reviews and looking back on it, I can see how the part about Ranma changing the paperwork can seem jarring.

When it says _"__changing and forging documents so as to pass a cursory inspection looking like a proper Konoha Ninja"_, it was meant that Ranma was messing with the paperwork to make it look like there really was a Konoha Jonin named Ranma, not that Ranma had actually gone around showing him/herself. Remember, as Ranma had decided the situation warrants it, the Sealed Techniques are available. With the Umisenken to use when sneaking around, not getting caught doing it isn't that surprising.

Additionally, Konoha is large. That means as long as they have no reason to doubt it, the Jonin could easily accept that Ranma is simply a new Jonin they have yet to meet. And with Ranma talking to several in the same day, they would be able to confirm Ranma's status to each other. Of course, Ranma didn't think about _that_.

Another result of Konoha's size is that _any_ paperwork takes time to even get noticed, far more verified. The Hokage _is_ interested in Team Seven, but he is also leader of the village, and in that way detached from smaller events. Its not that he wouldn't notice, but simply that it would take some time until he calls Kakashi to report on it, and then take some more time when he is trying to understand what was actually happening. _Only a single day has passed since Ranma had arrived in Konoha so far_.

Also, I was thinking about it, and decided that my Ranma is getting to be overpowered enough as it is, what with Hidden Weapons absolute projectile defense and all. Letting him use Chakra as well is just overkill, so Ranma keeps using only Ki, possibly disguising it as a bloodline later on. That way he wouldn't just go around curbstomping everyone, and would actually be challenged by opponents. That doesn't mean Ranma can't teach Team Seven Chakra techniques though. Not at all...

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and Naruto belong to their respective authors. I make no money from this, nor am I attempting or planning to.

.

.

Story Start:

When the messenger tracked him down to tell him the Hokage wanted to see him, at first Kakashi actually could not think about a reason the Hokage would want to see him. Then he remembered how he had to fail Team Seven.

Apparently a written report wouldn't be enough after all.

Depressing. After speaking with that new Jonin, Ranma if he remembered correctly, Kakashi had managed to take his mind off of the unpleasant present and reminiscence about his time with his old team. That girl had seemed really excited about it. Refreshing, as all the older Jonin were sick of hearing about it by now.

Still, duty was calling, and he now had to tell the Hokage just how Team Seven had failed to become Genin.

Sarutobi Hiruzen was a peaceful and tolerant Hokage, but he really did like that Naruto brat.

Kakashi cringed. After this, he seriously doubted he would ever get to be late because of his time at the memorial anytime soon. He would try to prevent the Hokage from blaming that failure on him being late by habit, by he seriously doubted his chances at that.

Maybe, that was one time when he should have been on time.

#######################################

Really, that Chunin had looked far too shocked at the condition her team was in after the mission. Really, after meeting Maito Guy, Ranma thought these Ninja at least had a good idea of what training should be like in order to be truly effective.

Ranma had, after dragging her students to the mission office to report their first mission done and collect their reward, decided to get her team to meet her tomorrow afternoon. This would be giving her some time to sleep and make some plan that entails more than a vague notion of "pick easy Ninja mission, use it to train students at the first thing I can think of until they can't move".

The brats looked far to happy about that. She would have to find some way to get back at them for that later.

'Now, I still need to read those scrolls I got from the Academy. That should give me something to teach them a Ninja here needs to know.'

#######################################

Now male again, Ranma was simply wandering around Konoha, mind whirling with what he had learned.

Those scrolls explained to him what Chakra was. 'Or they at least tried to. Physical and mental energies my ass. I saw those techniques, and I felt them use Ki. Only they didn't actually use it to fuel the technique. Instead, they used it to direct something.'

'Now, if that physical energy thing is Ki, which it sounds like it is, then they must be directing "mental energy". Except emotion and mentality are a vital components of Ki.' This was weird. What was that mental energy? It obviously worked.

'Lets see, Ninja here draw it from their body, and direct it to do stuff using Ki. It also triggers my Curse if they just leave it running loose.' Ranma knew Ki couldn't affect the Curse at all. He tried far too much not to be certain about _that_. So that only left whatever that mental energy was.

And the only thing he could think of that could affect the Curse was magic. 'Oh crap! Great! Just _wonderful_! So I'm not only trapped on a hostile planet, with Demon Gods rampaging indiscriminately, full of Super Ninja that would think I'm trying to steal their students if they ever found out about what I'm doing here, but they have to be Super **Magic** Ninja. _Magic Ninja_. Well, so much for awesome Martial Arts techniques. I'm not touching magic with a ten foot pole. Far too much experience with it to do that.'

Well, at least now he knew even if the Curse couldn't be affected by Ki, free magic that _isn't_ committed to causing him suffering yet could. If he could ever find magic that wasn't used exclusively to cause him misery.

'Now that I think about it, that whole Magic Ninja mess makes way too much sense. They use hand gestures and chant the names of their techniques to make them easier to use, and their techniques blatantly defy nature. Martial Arts is all about working with nature and using it to your advantage, and the Hiryu Shoten Ha is the ultimate proof of _that_. These Ninja, however, seem to be doing everything they possibly can to shut nature out of the equation, throwing around fancy things like fireballs with complete disregard to their situation and environment. Not remotely stealthy, really. Nothing like Konatsu.'

Of course, just to prove his point, a small group of Ninja made sure they were known.

"There he is! That's the guy I told you about!"

"You sure about that? He doesn't look like he could even last halfway in an Akimichi eating contest, far less win."

Oh, it was that guy from the eating contest! And he brought friends!

"Oh no, not again..." Ranma did not like the way this looked. 'With my luck I probably found some secret Konoha Speed Eating Ninja Secret Society or something of the sort, and now they want to challenge me to restore their honor. Of course, when they lose, they will call their boss to have a one-on-one eating contest against me in some kind of bizarre mockery of an epic showdown. Par for the course, really.'

The chubby Ninja, completely ignoring Ranma's plight, delivered the expected ridiculous, over-the-top challenge: "Hey, you! The guy who beat me yesterday night! Now, we shall restore the pride of the Akimichi Clan as undefeated champions of Konoha's eating contests! Just as I promised! We challenge you!"

Ranma face palmed, mumbling under his breath. "I can't believe it, right on the target..."

Recollecting himself, Ranma followed the tenets of Anything Goes. "Sure! Anytime! You're only gonna lose again, and I do like a free meal... Anything Goes, no-limits, eating contest to the last man standing!"

The gathered Akimichi all nodded resolutely, reddening with indignation at the affront to their eating skills.

The Ninja who looked like the guy leading the group asked, with completely inappropriately high levels of seriousness: "Grilled meat, all-you can eat?" His group replied with synchronized nodding.

"Well then, follow us."

Ranma liked this challenge. Usually challenges for him were just annoying, painful, humiliating, or some combination of the three at varying levels. This one got him free food. Even if he got full, he could simply start storing food, there was no way he could lose! These guys were Ninja, they should be experts at cheating, so this might last a while.

'Actually, that might be a problem. I need to get to the meeting with those brats. Being late is no fun, I can't prepare a surprise. Not to mention their previous teacher being late is how I got in this mess in the first place...'

Soon after, Ranma was seated around a grill, surrounded by large Ninja determined to beat him, waiting for the food to arrive. When it arrived, he was in his element. He was fighting larger and stronger opponents (Genma) for the right to eat his food since he was five. In comparison, this was child's play.

The Akimichi, for their part, were stunned. This guy was eating faster than they did! He was practically inhaling his food, as they could detect no proper chewing anywhere in the process, and he was _fast_! Suddenly, they all had a good deal more respect for Ranma's previous challenger.

As fun as this was, Ranma knew he couldn't let this drag on. So he changed tactics, and instead of storing away food, he threw it into his opponents' mouths, forcing them to eat more, faster. This resulted in the Akimichi believing that they had been pushed beyond their limits, and in their desire to win had started to eat faster than ever before. It wasn't long before they collapsed, having eaten more than they their limits would have allowed. Ranma had skipped out contentedly, to the gazes of the still shocked patrons of the restaurant.

He probably wouldn't have been as contented if he would have seen the excited smiles gracing the faces of the collapsed Akimichi. A few minutes after he left, the beaten Akimichi had started a strategy meeting.

"This is a worthy rival indeed..."

"This Nemesis of the Akimichi shall be defeated!"

"We have been letting ourselves go with the lack of any real opposition..."

"From now on, we train."

#######################################

Team Seven was confused. They were more prepared to struggle for their lives then ever before, but their sensei had somehow anticipated that, and responded by making their second D-rank as easy as possible. They were almost forced to breeze through it. They could see no way painting a fence the normal way could be a threat to their continued existence, so they had agreed to assume this was just a stunt to get them to drop their guard, she she could finish them off.

Then she took them to the clearing where they had ended up after they foolishly passed her test, and they understood she just wanted them to finish in time to allow her to use her own, personal, evil designs.

"You can probably tell by now, but the mission today was just a token achievement to earn some money." Ranma started, as her Genin were staring blankly at her new idea of training.

"Now, that was because I just couldn't think of a better way to teach you what I'm about to than _this_." At that, Ranma had waved her arm in the general direction of the contraption she put together in the middle of the clearing.

Said contraption consisted of five full scale large tree trunks, stripped completely bare of leaves and branches, sharpened at the bottom, then struck into each other one by one, until finally the last one was firmly embedded in the ground. The top tree was also sharpened at its top end, and had two _other_ tree trunks, also bare of leaves and branches, impaled on top of it, cut and tied so as to create an enormous horizontal windmill that cannot move. The overall effect was staggering.

The structure was colossal, towering over the assembled Ninja and their sensei as if they were ants. Compounding that presence was the fact that it hadn't been there the last time they were here just two days ago.

Sakura, having recovered first, asked the question all three wanted answered most. "Ahm, sensei... what exactly _is_ this?"

Naruto was sweating, imagining all the ways this might be used as a way to discreetly murder them.

Sasuke was giving his full attention to the answer.

"All of you know what Chakra is, correct?" Ranma asked, ignoring the question completely.

Sakura, through ingrained reflex, immediately gave the textbook answer: "It is a mixture of physical energy present in every cell of the body and spiritual energy present in the mind and developed through experience. When mixed, it can be channeled through the Chakra Coils to any of the Tenketsu in the body, then shaped by using hand-seals to cast Jutsu."

Impressed despite herself, Ranma continued: "Very good, but you should know that hand-seals are only a method of helping you control your Chakra. Any good Ninja would be able to use simple Jutsu like kawarimi with no hand-seals at all."

By now, all three Genin were wandering where this was going, and how it had anything to do with the wooden monstrosity towering above their heads.

"This means that the first thing you have to do is learn how to increase your Chakra control." – 'Not to mention that magic is bad enough when controlled properly, and only gets worse with loss of control. So there is every reason for me to get them to master the stuff before having them do anything interesting with it.' – "You should have learned the basic leaf concentration exercise in the Academy, and as it has no practical applications, I will skip right ahead to the next one, which is actually a critical part of any fighting you are likely to end up in."

Now, normally skipping the early stages to start at the cool stuff would have had Naruto shouting for joy, and even Sasuke might have felt satisfaction at the course of events, but this was not normal.

No, their sensei wanted them dead, which meant every step skipped was more opportunity for her to catch them off guard with something that would get them all killed.

So Naruto attempted, for the first time in his life, to learn the simple things first. "But sensei, I don't know that leaf exercise thingy!"

"Okay. Sakura, Sasuke, you help Naruto here. None of you can stop until you all pass this or are too injured to move." Ranma had easily dismissed that argument in favor of continuing her instructions.

"This exercise requires you to use Chakra to stick your feet to this" – at which point Ranma had gestured to the towering construct – "and climb all the way to the top. Using only your feet, without running. To make this more effective, you also have to walk along the bottom of one of the four ledges I put on top and retrieve a weight imbedded in the end, bringing it back to me and defeating its guardian." The Genin had immediately frozen up at the mention of a guardian, having prior experience with what their sensei considered 'good training opponents'.

Ranma finished her explanation, completely ignoring the response in her satisfaction with her new idea for training. "You will not be allowed to use any Jutsu except for the tree climbing Jutsu itself, and any attempt to break any of those rules would result in the exercise being restarted. If any of you falls all the way to the floor at any point, the exercise will still be restarted" – 'Learning to cheat will have to wait. I will not have half-trained Ninja-Mages _existing_ around me, far less as my own students!' – "Finally, the floor. I needed something that would really hurt to fall on to get you to actually try, but that still wouldn't outright kill you if you fall on it, but had a hard time finding something on my own. Fortunately, another Jonin was more than eager to help me build this once he learned it will be used for training, only demanding to have his team join in tomorrow. So if you still haven't passed by than, which I don't expect you to, you'll have company. Now, this floor is thin wood, and very fragile, and beneath it you will find boiling water, which was being heated all day – although I'm not very clear on what is actually heating it. The other Jonin was the one who did that."

"You have ten minutes to prepare yourselves and leave all of your equipment somewhere safe. Have fun!" Ranma had concluded the speech explaining her new training with a wide smile, nodding to herself at a job well done.

Dizzy with terror at the impossible task they were given, having now noticed that, yes, there really was a wooden floor covering most of the clearing, the Genin stayed frozen for a short while after Ranma finished.

And then, in one moment of terrible clarity, they understood that their teacher actually didn't want to kill them. She wanted them to suffer first.

They would have protested, but they could hear their teacher counting down the seconds. They started running.

"Okay, both of you, if we want to be able to eat solid food tomorrow, we need to work together here." Sakura, surprising both her teammates, took control. "The first thing we should do is try to stick to the base and just stand there, before we can even think about walking all the way up. Sensei is far too sadistic to be lying about the floor, or about forcing us to restart when someone falls, so there is no point in climbing before we can all use tree walking. That will only get us exhausted and burned."

After taking a few seconds to accept this new, assertive Sakura, both Naruto and Sasuke nodded their agreement, letting her take control. Both liked their food solid. Naruto didn't think he could live without ramen.

#######################################

Aligning himself to land feet first as he felt himself being rejected from the tree, Sasuke was thinking.

'Interesting. So she can actually be competent. Maybe she isn't just another worthless fangirl after all...' Although he wouldn't even admit it even to himself, Sasuke knew if Sakura didn't take control when she did, he would be burned and bruised right now.

Sakura caught Naruto when he fell _again_ and sighed. "Naruto, I've already told you eight times! You have to use more Chakra then you started out with, but not nearly this much!" Sakura already had great Chakra control, so she could walk on the tree on her first attempt.

That meant that, after explaining about how much Chakra it felt like they needed to use, she was stuck watching the least controlled member of their team in this exercise. Naruto didn't seem to even know what Chakra control _was_. She was getting impatient now, and the only reason she hadn't hit him yet was the knowledge that doing so would dump her in boiling water as well. Growling as Naruto couldn't align himself properly and she was forced to catch him again, Sakura swore, if she found out he did this just so she would catch him, there would be hell to pay.

Naruto was ecstatic. 'Sakura-chan is finally showing her true greatness and gentle heart! In the face of such horrible peril, she couldn't keep pretending to love that bastard Sasuke! Now that the true Sakura is out in the open, we can't fail!'

Of course, this meant his concentration, already very low, was shot to hell. He shot off from the trunk again.

Ranma, for her part, was both proud and disappointed. Proud that her students were doing this the smart way, proud at Sakura taking charge like she did – she definitely has the brains of the group – and at Naruto and Sasuke for having the sense to let her.

Disappointed that the heat resistance factor of the training will be minimized. And that her amusement at said training will be likewise minimized. 'Well, at least until they get to the end.' Naruto fell again at the sudden chill in the air.

"Dammit, sensei! No cheating!"

#######################################

It was evening, and Team Seven was **not** collapsed and broken just yet. There were getting close though.

The floor was now littered with countless holes and full of wooden fragments.

After hours of both Sakura and Sasuke helping Naruto, with Naruto greatly motivated by Sasuke's own success, all of Team Seven could reliably stick to the base. That's when they started walking up side-by-side.

The first problem was expected, and could only be overcome with practice. Walking is very different from standing. This still applies with tree walking. While Sakura could walk up the tree with minimal effort, she was forced to stabilize both her teammates when they lost their balance, which was often. This usually resulted in both falling down, possibly crashing into the third and taking him down with them.

Much more pained and burned, the Genin had found the second problem when they finally passed to the second tree. It turned out that Ranma had made sure every tree trunk had a different texture and toughness from the others. This, as expected, completely screwed up the tree walking technique used on the previous tree, causing all three to fall instantly.

Halfway through the second tree, Sakura had found out how to adjust her tree walking to support the sudden weight of one of her teammates instinctively. This would have been a major advantage, except by then all three were feeling like one big burn, suffering trauma damage from falling into the water from increasing heights repeatedly. As it was, it let them reach the third tree trunk.

This was to be their last attempt. They knew that, because now the weight of all three was almost solely on Naruto, due to his inhumane stamina somehow allowing him to preserve long past when his body should have reached its limits. Still, even Naruto was beyond the breaking point, only maintaining the technique through pure willpower and an all-consuming ingrained pattern of moving one leg in front of the other.

Suddenly, Naruto's foot had bumped into a stump that used to be a branch, the spell broke, and Team Seven plummeted into darkness.

#######################################

As the tree walking training was taking all day, once she was certain she would know if her students tried to do something dangerously stupid, Ranma had taken to reading more scrolls. When she was done with those, she had a good idea as to what she would teach once her team had finished learning both tree walking, and then when they finished with that, water walking.

In the remaining time Ranma had to wait, by then certain her students' performance was doubtlessly unbelievably quick, Ranma was thinking about things she had put off before, when she was suddenly dropped into her current situation.

First, the original motivation for starting this mess. 'Well, I'm not playing around with Hidden Weapons any more than I already did. No need to invite more trouble of this sort. No point in trying either. I'm pretty sure by now I got it as powerful as I am going to. Although I could use what I have better. Maybe forcefully draw out as much air as possible in an instant to create a pressure blast?'

'Of course, that leaves the Bakusai Tenketsu next.'

The idea of developing a ranged version of the technique was very attractive, but the very concept of the technique made that impossible. Causing the local Ki in the object hit to spontaneously detonate at the point of impact was, well, **localized**. Using it against living things, even if Ranma could consider it, was also impossible, as the Ki in a living thing was fundamentally controlled at a certain levels, and could easily resist the destabilizing blast that was the Bakusai Tenketsu with nothing more than instinct.

A new and interesting concept she had started to think about when she learned about Chakra in this world was the ability to use Ki as a channel to direct and deliver a technique that would normally trigger instantly. If Ninja could use this to deliver magic, why couldn't Ranma use it to deliver Ki? If it worked, this would allow her to activate techniques as if with personal contact using a small Moko Takabisha blast as a container. Things like creating ice blasts with condensed Soul Of Ice presence, fragmentation grenades with a blast containing a rock and a Bakusai Tenketsu charge correctly aligned with each other, or even instant tornadoes by shooting a Hiryu Shoten Ha core into a fire.

**This**, now this she will be looking into.

'Of course, there are improvements to my own techniques to consider too. I've been working on using the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken to speed up other moves as well, but that didn't help much. I was already _almost_ using it when kicking Kuno when we first met, and using it to throw Ki blasts is far too tiring to be practical for anything but making an instant simulated battlefield, or as a finishing blow. But now with the Bakusai Tenketsu... That would be a very big boom.'

Feeling Naruto's ridiculous and semi-suicidal feat of stamina in making the last climb carrying _all three_ finally fail, Ranma was forced to abandon further wandering on the subject in order to catch the group. They had actually been training themselves unconscious!

At this rate, they might even finish the entire exercise tomorrow! At the very least, they will find it **much** easier to perform tomorrow, when no longer so tired and broken. Guy's team, although they probably already know the basic technique, may find themselves in for a nasty surprise and some healthy competition...

#######################################

This was bad. Very bad.

When he called Kakashi to report on his new team's progress after getting the report stating they passed, ignoring the abysmal handwriting, believing it to be a result of Kakashi being lazy and tired, Sarutobi Hiruzen, third Hokage of Konohagure, had not expected anything _close_ to this.

Kakashi hadn't passed his team.

He didn't even meet them. He was late as usual, and had assumed they had gotten tired of waiting and left.

That alone wasn't the problem. It was **a **problem, certainly. Kakashi's habitual lateness would have to stop. The fact that, despite Kakashi failing Team Seven, the report, written in handwriting he didn't recognize, had them as passed and under a Jonin named 'Saotome Ranma' was. After digging up this Ranma's files, the situation was quickly deteriorating, as there was clearly no such _Konoha_ Jonin, the files were only half-decent fakes, and Kakashi had reported a young redheaded girl claiming the same name had gotten the drop on him when he left the Academy "in deep thought" and used his mental turmoil to fish for information about his past and other Jonin in the village.

Regardless of how much he wanted to hit Kakashi for his carelessness, Sarutobi had retained his calm in the face of disaster.

Team Seven was to be assumed to be kidnapped, and unless they were found, and with Sasuke's value to any of the other villages, he greatly doubted that was a possibility, apprehension of that Ranma took top priority.

He could only hope Naruto's status as a Jinchuriki was still a secret.

When he had summoned Guy to team him up with his "Eternal Rival" Kakashi in order to insure success, he was horrified to hear him reporting close relations with that same mysterious "Saotome Ranma", to the point of having worked with her to construct a collosal "training mechanism" in the forest just earlier today. The Hokage doubted it was actually meant for training.

How long had this been going on? How long had he missed a foreign agent that had been socializing with his Jonin out in the open? Using them? He was too old for this. Sarutobi Hiruzen needed a replacement more than ever, and this was proof. After this disaster was over, he would have to ask Jiraya to become the Fifth.

'If this Ranma was finished building something in the forest recently, she should still be there. If we go now, we could probably intercept her before any more damage is done.' His decision made, the third Hokage was preparing himself.

"Kakashi, Guy, we will be heading out the intercept our mystery agent in five minutes. Prepare yourselves. There are far too many unknowns in this situation to make it remotely safe, even for us. Carelessness can kill even the greatest of Ninja."

He was smiling grimly. Success or failure, he was not planing on being Hokage beyond this day.


	4. A Touch of Heaven

Author's Note: One of the reviews mentioned Ranma conspicuously does **not** stick his proverbial foot in his mouth nearly as much as one might expect. That is because, as the situation really does warrant it, Ranma is _**constantly in combat-ready mode**_. He is clearly much more cunning and in control of the flow of events when in battle, and for him, even if just subconsciously, being stranded on a dangerous and hostile world with no safe sanctuary is definitely a combat situation.

Most would consider those odds a lost cause, actually.

As for the Hidden Weapons portals, those can only be opened right next to one of Ranma's hands. They don't let him send attacks from behind opponents, or anything else of the sort.

Another Note: The review from Ozzalos is perfectly correct. I was aware from the moment I finished the first chapter that this story is terribly rushed. Ideas and events only took up a fifth of the page length and word-count I expected them to, all because of a critical lack of detail (at least I think that's the reason...).

This is because this is the first thing I ever wrote that takes up more than 3,000 words, and the first story I ever wrote, period. This means that, although I was aware of this length problem I could not, and still cannot, reliably fix it. I am trying though, as can be seen by the ever-increasing chapter length (in chapter two I did this by cramming a lot of different ideas in, then in chapter three I tried using more detail describing events, which I now believe was the correct approach to take). This chapter I was attempting to add even more detail to events. Or, depending on how you see it, one huge event.

To put it simply, I am a complete amateur when it comes to writing, and am just starting to struggle fixing it. So please just bear with me here for now, as I am trying to improve. That's one reason this site was made for, after all.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and Naruto belong to their respective authors. I make no money from this, nor am I attempting or planning to.

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Story Start:

When Guy had led his Hokage and Eternal Rival to confront the mysterious Saotome Ranma, constantly and loudly trying to convince them that Ranma really was a "very youthful instructor" and could not possibly be an enemy infiltrator, the Hokage had expected to see many things when he got to the so-called new "training grounds". None of those things were even close to this.

The contraption Guy had been tricked into building really was colossal. The thing easily towered over the entire forest, so it was visible long before they had managed to approach it.

Even more alarming then its size, was the fact that, for all of its ominous presence, the Hokage could not feel any Chakra from it or spot any weaponry on it, hidden or otherwise. It really did look like it was made as a training grounds.

A short while later, something could be made out scaling the body of the wooden monstrosity.

"Is that Naruto?" The disbelief in the Hokage's voice was obvious to both of his companions.

Guy, true to his nature, capitalized on the opportunity. "Do you see now! The youthful Ranma was unjustly blamed for the un-youthful notion of kidnapping one's own students! I am sure that she is only a victim of the horrors of bureaucratic paperwork, and once we talk to her we can clear our hands of this whole unfortunate event as a simple mistake!" Both of his companions could not help but cringe at the volume he was using, and then groan at the realization he had just gotten more material to fuel his demented argument at the favor of their unknown enemy.

"Can you see this! Even now, in her great youthfulness, the youthful Ranma is putting her students through most youthful Training!"

Sarutobi didn't know what was worse – that his Jonin was determined to argue for a dangerous enemy's innocence, or that he was starting to believe she really was training Team Seven. He knew very well that Naruto had terrible Chakra control, as well as the reason for it. He was definitely **not** capable of using tree walking to scale halfway up this _thing_ that was _approved by Maito Guy_. Far less doing so while supporting both of his exhausted teammates.

Still, even if she was training them, it was perfectly reasonable to believe she was training them to be loyal to _herself_, and not to Konoha. This way she would not only be stealing the last Uchiha left in Konoha _and_ his team, one of which was, regardless of her knowledge of the fact, the nine-tails Jinchuriki; but she would also be stealing their secrets and Jutsu. 'Yes, that is certainly a likely scenario, and highly beneficial for whoever she is working for. I can't even begin to estimate how much she must have already learned, and probably sent to her employer. Konoha would have to completely overhaul its security network, and change any regulations, codes, and agents she could have learned about. This breach in security would take years to recover from.'

The third Hokage was busy blaming himself for taking up the post when he was so clearly no longer fit for it, just because Jiraya had refused and Tsunade was wondering somewhere outside of Konoha. He should have forced his student to take up the post, and now he would.

Then Naruto fell. Sarutobi felt a heart-wrenching panic at his concern for Naruto's safety, and set off moving at his fastest in a desperate attempt at preventing a tragedy. Once he started moving, in a single moment of horrified realization, he knew he wouldn't make it. Then a red blur flashed at the falling children, and they disappeared from the Hokage's sight.

#######################################

She should have known it. Things were going far too well.

Now her luck was kicking back in full-force.

Not only had Ranma been discovered, but of the three approaching life signatures, one was her team's correct teacher, another her new friend and potential sparring partner, and the last was eerily reminiscent of Happosai and Cologne. 'An ancient Grand-Ninja-Sorcerer. Crap.'

And just to top it all of, she was now holding the unconscious bodies of her students. She couldn't even begin to imagine how bad this will look to those Ninja surrounding her now. This sucked.

Well, at least one part of this could be fixed. With a murmured apology, Ranma put all three of her students into her Ki-pocket, absently noting some peculiar resistance. Then she prepared herself for a confrontation she probably couldn't outright fight her way out of with no support.

'This will be fun!'

#######################################

The Hokage and his two companions burst out of the woods in formation, leaving Ranma surrounded and flanked from three directions.

To the shock of all three older Ninja, all three members of Team Seven suddenly weren't there. Their Chakra signatures, faint as they were before, were now gone as well. Their target was leaning against her towering achievement, smirking at them, her posture the very picture of careless power and confidence. Something was very wrong here.

All three Ninja tensed, preparing themselves to counter any attack or attempt to escape from the redhead before them, ready to support each other at a moment's notice.

Then the Hokage opened conversation.

"Would you mind telling us what happened to the three Genin we just saw falling from midway up that thing you're leaning on?"

'Dammit, I really hoped they didn't see them there... Well, time to try damage control.'

"I put them all somewhere safe. I'm sure you can appreciate me not wanting them getting hurt if things here got nastier then they should, mister Ninja. Oh, and Guy – good job with the water. I'm still not sure how you did it, but it worked like a charm."

Guy, caught up in the friendly attitude displayed by Ranma, answered in kind:

"I'm glad to have been of help! Your display of the Spirit of Youth when you work to fan the flames of youth in your students is inspiring! I, too, will work hard to improve my own team's youthful spirit just as much as you do yours, or I will run one-thousand laps around Konoha on my hands!"

Both of Guy's companions were groaning in long-resigned suffering. They really should have seen this response coming.

The Hokage was even more on edge now. 'She distracted us from our original purpose to coming here so easily... And now she controls the flow of the conversation. Such ease at manipulating people – I still can't see a single sign that this was really her intent in saying what she did! It sounded like a completely innocent and honest remark!'

Attempting to regain control of this confrontation and return to the original topic, the Hokage interrupted Guy's obvious excitement at the concepts of training and Youth. And oh, did it deserve that capital Y...

"And why would you think anything violent might happen here?"

The frank response once more caught the Hokage off guard. The perfect willingness to follow his topic in the conversation that was being displayed after such a skillful deflection as she had used previously set off many alarms in his expert's intuition.

"Because, as you now very well know, I wasn't supposed to be teaching these brats at all. I'm not even a real Ninja, nor do I belong in your Secret Village. And somehow, I find it hard to believe Ninja of any sort would like a complete stranger coming out of nowhere and taking over one of their mini-Ninja teams." The redhead's attitude caught them all flat-footed, doing a complete one-eighty from its previous happy-go-lucky confident carelessness, she was suddenly ice incarnate; completely void of any hint of emotion. Even the air now seemed colder. This was simply disturbing.

As a Kage, one of the greatest Ninja alive, leader of one of the Great Ninja Villages, Sarutobi Hiruzen was a master at reading people. Even the most powerful and experienced of Ninja could not _completely_ purge themselves of emotion. Even the likes of Uchiha Itachi and the Hyuga elders, as close as they got, could not remove every last trace of any and all emotions from themselves. It simply could not be done. So when the redheaded impossibility in front of him had achieved a perfect emotional void with no apparent effort, he knew for a fact he was dealing with something truly dangerous.

Still, regardless of what may happen in the future, right now he was the heart of Konoha. Inheritor of the Will of Fire. God of Shinobi. Living Legend. Pride of Konohagure. He was Hokage, and for the sake of his village, he will not back down from danger.

"If, as you so callously admitted to us just now, you had truly 'taken over' our" – and here he could not avoid a small, dark chuckle – "mini-Ninja team, would you be so kind as to give them back to us now?" He ended the question with a dangerous glint in his eyes, promising that only a resounding "Yes" would be acceptable.

The redheaded girl responded, a hint of sadness now penetrating her cold visage: "Sorry, I would've, but those damn kids found me when I still didn't know what was happening, and somehow got me to promise I would teach them. I still need to finish making good on that promise." The way this was said, it was clear to all that she didn't even consider going back on that promise. The very possibility of breaking her word simply did not register as a viable option. "So would you be so kind as to allow me to finish teaching them before having me give them back to you?"

From the way this was asked, it was clear that Ranma didn't actually believe he would allow her to do so, and was simply mocking his previous question.

She was right.

"No. You will be giving them back, willingly or not. If you force us to, we will not hesitate to use force to have you return the children of our village."

Ranma inwardly cringed behind the Soul of Ice. 'Okay, so diplomacy was a spectacular failure, and a fight looks hopeless. Any one of these opponents would be a challenge, but three-on-one is just hopeless.'

Then, noticing Guy looking at her pleadingly as if to ask her to surrender peacefully, she had it. As it was, he wanted her to be innocent, and would easily accept any excuse he could find to do so. She knew, in his position, she would've. She felt bad about what she was about to do, but she couldn't see another way out of this. And with the Soul of Ice, that emotion was pushed aside and locked away.

Ranma had then shaken the gathered Ninja once again, by suddenly erupting in outrage, waving her left arm around widely in an attempt to convey her point.

"Guy! I know you are a true Jonin of Konoha! How can you follow this obvious fake? The true Hokage would never display such un-youthfulness as to attempt to deny me fulfilling an Oath of Honor, in order to deny Konoha Genin training! Both of his goals are extremely un-youthful, therefore this is clearly a fake, and an enemy to all that the Spirit of Youth represents! You must help me rescue your Eternal Rival from his brainwashing, so we can take him back to Konoha and force him to lead us to the real Hokage!"

Once what she was doing registered, the outraged Hokage gave the order to attack.

"Remember, we need her alive to get the Genin back, so attack to disable, not kill! Move out!"

As expected, Kakashi, his Sharingan revealed, had charged forward, the supercharged Raikiri he was powering up during the conversation now finished, aiming for the left arm the redhead was waving around. However, to his shock, it seemed he was too late with Guy.

His worldview restored, with a great enthusiasm and a great shout of "Konoha Daisenpu!", Maito Guy had attacked his Eternal Rival, catching him completely off guard and knocking him into the air, dispersing the dangerous attack harmlessly.

The third Hokage himself wasted no time in charging the shameless manipulator, throwing a Shuriken Shadow Clone technique ahead of him to force the redhead away from her strange contraption.

Then, Ranma revealed her right hand, and it became obvious Kakashi was not the only one using the conversation to charge a technique.

Quickly throwing the experimental and supercharged orb at the incoming shuriken, Ranma grinned as they all exploded into smoke, the original shattering into millions of frozen shards. Not only that, but the blast containing the concentrated Soul of Ice emitted into it since before the conversation had even begun had also instantly turned the boiling water beneath them to ice in a terrible wave of freezing cold.

Guy, and naturally herself, looked to be the only ones not greatly hindered by the cold. 'This thing is awesome! Very Ki-efficient too! Finally, I can throw energy blasts around without feeling it too! Take that, Herb! This Ki-channel stuff is _so_ becoming a signature move!'

The Hokage, acting to immediately counter the redhead's newly revealed Ice Bloodline Limit, had instantly cast his next Jutsu. "Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu!"

The surprised Ranma quickly found herself frantically dodging a barrage of thousands of tiny fireballs the Hokage was spitting at her, not looking as if he would stop anytime soon. 'That bastard! He is trying to reheat the battlefield! Why is it that these Ninja like breathing fire so much? Land of Fire, certainly lives up to its name.' Ranma's first conclusion was quickly followed by another, much more pleasant one. 'This means he will be making the whole battlefield into a giant patchwork of hot and cold air! He is digging his own grave here!' Ranma's dodging quickly changed to encompass a gigantic spiral around the training ground turned battlefield, her grin widening even more at this stroke of luck.

#######################################

Kakashi hated everything about this situation.

He was just about to strike a decisive blow at that damned manipulating kidnapper, when he found out her mad attempt at converting Guy was not so mad after all. From there, things just went downhill.

"Dammit, Guy! Can't you see she is manipulating you! What you are doing is treason!"

Guy, a great fire of conviction shining in his eyes, obviously wasn't speaking the same language. 'Maybe that was how that redhead got him to convert. She just bothered to learn his language...'

"Don't worry, my Eternal Rival! After this un-youthful battle, I will make sure you are saved from the brainwashing of this dark imitation of our beloved Hokage, your youthful spirit will be restored to its former glory!"

Ever since that first combo that sent him flying, Kakashi was given no time to recover; his self-proclaimed Eternal Rival never letting up on the incredible pressure his barrage of impossibly quick attacks was putting on the Sharingan user. Then that thrice-damned redhead revealed an Ice Bloodline Limit, making the whole freaking battlefield into an artificial freezer.

The Hokage's efforts to counter _that_ crippling attack were helping, but Guy, using the first two Gates to actually _benefit_ from the cold, allowing him cool down from the strain he was putting on his body, had managed to land several very painful blows before Kakashi was well enough to keep up again.

'Those two were made to work as a team! Their abilities complement each other far too well, and their teamwork is unnaturally good, considering they had no chance to fight together before... This is looking bad. It doesn't look like I can get Guy to even understand what I'm saying, so converting him back is out for now. Really, this gullibility problem should have been fixed years ago!'

Then, when it was finally looking like the Hokage had managed to reheat the area, that redhead had somehow instantly created a colossal full-scale tornado, encompassing the entire clearing in terrible raging winds. Already in the air, attempting to mount a defense against Guy's relentless attacks, Kakashi had no defense against the rending winds. Absently, he noted that the Hokage was using his secondary Earth affinity to remain solidly grounded in the face of the smirking Ice-user flying around taunting him, refusing to enter battle on her terms and methodically trying to corner her with Enma's staff form. Kakashi wasn't allowed the luxury of choosing the terms of battle, and was flung skyward like a rocket, Guy following right after with a jumping kick that was riding the same current that had snatched Kakashi up in the first place, albeit in a much more controlled manner.

Seeing a flash of brown to his left, Kakashi had directed himself to it, desperately looking for some solid foothold he could use to gather any force to counter his deluded youth-obsessed comrade's merciless pummeling. For the first time since learning of her true nature, Kakashi was glad for something the redhead did, as he was standing on the bottom side of one of the wings from the towering construct she had formed in the clearing. The emotion was quickly washed away as his fellow leaf Ninja came charging at him over the length of that same wing.

Then, when attempting to dodge, Kakashi had learned that Guy fought much better than him upside-down, under the increased and shifting artificial gravity-via-wind pushing them up, and the punishing winds formed 'by the tornado raging all around them. And that a length of wood shaped roughly like a long corridor was far from ideal to use when dodging.

'Well, crap.' Kakashi didn't have time to think further than that, as Guy's attack had sent him sprawling further in towards the middle of the construct.

#######################################

When the Hiryu Shoten Ha had finally formed, even Ranma was impressed.

'Wow. It was never **that** big before. I guess that hundreds of magic fireballs are just that much hotter than anger could possibly get... That explains how much stronger the Hiryu Hyu Toppa I used against Saffron was then the normal Hiryu Shoten Ha is, although they were, fundamentally, very similar.'

Ranma had no idea how the Hokage wasn't wrenched into the winds of the Amazon technique, as even if he was using that Ninja tree-walking technique to stick to the ground, the earth beneath him should have been ripped to pieces. It should have joined the mess of ice, wood, and earth like the pieces being being torn away from the frozen reservoir of the now-doomed training ground, the wooden floor still remaining above it, the trees surrounding the clearing, and the few places where genuine earth remained had _everywhere_ _else_. Regardless of how he was doing it, Ranma wanted him off the ground and in the air, where Anything Goes held the clear advantage. But the old man refused to cooperate, instead summoning a giant Ninja monkey, which then turned into a staff.

This would have had her rolling in laughter, except the staff the old Ninja was swinging suddenly expended in an attempt to squash her that Ranma had barely dodged by letting the tornado's air currents lift her above the attack. After getting over how ridiculous wielding a magical giant Ninja monkey to fight was, which was bad even for her standards, Ranma had shifted her dodging from panicked scrambling to a controlled glide over the currents of the tornado, which was growing ever stronger by absorbing the occasional fireball from the old Hokage.

While most who knew it assumed the Saotome Style of Anything Goes Martial Arts allowed users to hang in the air for as long as they did by using the opponent's own body as a ramp to boost themselves up, that wasn't strictly true. While users of the style certainly did do this, they were also to battle each other in midair for prolonged periods of time where both never landed, as Ranma and Genma did in their morning spars. The secret in this was creative use of a simple concept. Iron Cloth – the knowledge that by pumping Ki into something, it can be sharpened and toughened far beyond what nature normally allows. The Saotome Style users had made use of that fact by pumping Ki into the air around themselves, not only allowing them their insane aerial capabilities, but also giving them the ability to cushion all incoming attacks with an instant layer of solid wind armor. It could only be done for a fraction of a second before the solidified wind had dispersed, but for a Martial Artist, that was enough. A tiny push up with nothing to push off of, a little nudge to the side when there is nothing to use as leverage, adding sudden acceleration to a jump or fall when nothing but gravity should be moving them. That was the Secret of Saotome Anything Goes.

And those very same skills were what gave Ranma such overwhelming superiority inside the barely controlled tornado she had created in this battle. Here, wind was God. Here, wind was, for just a moment, at its greatest. Where normally simply slowing her fall to a crawl took every drop of her skill with the technique, here Ranma could easily fly. And in this world there was no one to hide her family Secret from by disguising it as something else. People here just didn't really understand what Ki was at all. Here, Ranma was free. This must be how Herb always felt. No wonder he was so convinced of his superiority.

Still, that monkey-staff was probably the most dangerous weapon Ranma had ever seen. Its ability to change size at will, combined with the fact it was actually alive, meaning the Bakusai Tenketsu had no effect against it and it could actually help direct and control attacks, fused to create a terrifying weapon that not only allowed melee attacks at any range, but also increased the wielder's fighting efficiency. If she wasn't already gliding around in the strongest tornado she had created to date, that staff would have almost certainly insured her loss.

As it was, Ranma was constantly taunting, attempting to draw the Hokage into the air so she could approach safely and end this, occasionally throwing a Ki-directed frost blast to shatter against walls of earth the Hokage was raising and dropping to protect himself, then attack. When the old master managed to effectively maneuver her between that staff and his fire barrage, she simply stored the fire using Hidden Weapons, getting safely away from the staff.

While doing this, Ranma was trying to think of a way to break the stalemate in her favor.

'Okay, the Yamasenken might work – in this storm it's practically invisible – but its way too likely to kill, so that's out. The Umisenken can't be used while in midair, which I will have to fix as soon as possible. Blasting the ground does nothing, the old man must be reinforcing it somehow, so a full Moko Takabisha is just going to be a waste of Ki. I can't get near, that's the whole problem, so Amaguriken is out... Fighting this guy sucks! This is going to come down to which of us gets tired first!'

Then, Ranma's thought pattern came to a screeching halt. 'Wait – why am I even trying to attack him? This fight isn't one-on-one, and I could just go help Guy, then we can double-team the old guy! Goodbye, sucker!'

Her grin widening once again like it did before she started the Hiryu Shoten Ha, Ranma let the currents lift her towards Guy and Kakashi's fight.

The Hokage – understanding what she was trying to do, yet simultaneously knowing leaving the ground would be very dangerous against this opponent, and losing his leverage for swinging Enma would allow his incredibly agile opponent much more freedom to move – had to stop her. So, as she was an Ice user and he was Fire user, he chose the technique most likely to force her back down.

"Katon: Karyu Endan!"

Ranma, hearing the Hokage release the technique he hoped to stop her with, turned around to face a great dragon of white-hot flames approaching at terminal velocity. The wind wasn't absorbing it fast enough, and it was far too large for the Hidden Weapons gateways to contain.

Understandably panicked, Ranma made a small choking noise, and resorted to her oldest strategy. Improvising, she created the core principal of a Hiryu Shoten Ha, surrounded it by a fragile shell of her ever-present confidence, and shot it forward directly at the delivery Ki-matrix of that dragon technique.

Apparently, the technique worked. Then the staff form of Enma, still smoldering from the flames that hid it, sent her tumbling widely away. And the Hiryu Shoten Ha was definitely **not** built to be _used inside itself_. The dual-core tornado doubled in strength, and tore apart the last of its restraints, becoming a True Storm.

Fortunately, the wings of the training pole were well reinforced and held. Less fortunately, whatever Guy had set up to heat the water at the base of the pole was acceptable tornado fuel. It exploded. The wings started turning, as the colossus rose into the air like some great demented propeller, sucked into the newly freed Storm that was slowly climbing higher and moving forward, spraying debris up to the size of a small house over the entire landscape.

Grimly, Sarutobi Hiruzen, the third Hokage of Konohagure realized. 'So **that** is what that thing she made Guy build really is... A great spear to be thrown down into the heart of our village. Was she allowed to finish, Konoha's time as one of the Five Great Ninja Villages would have been finished.'

Still, his shinobi were stuck on that thing, fighting a battle that would help only their enemy. It was his solemn duty as their leader and commander to show those who lost sight of the Will of Fire the error of their ways.

He commanded Enma to extend at the ground, catapulting himself onto the flying weapon, avoiding spending any more time in the air then absolutely necessary.

Ranma, for her part, recovered from the staff blow and, ignoring the third Hokage, returned to her original purpose of helping Guy, surfing the wind to reach the parody of an aircraft she had created.

#######################################

Just when Kakashi was so sure things couldn't possibly get worse without the Tailed Beasts themselves becoming involved, the world itself got up to prove him wrong. Now, not only was the Storm raging around them twice as powerful as before, which was already incredibly powerful on its own. Now, the structure that redhead – may she forever rot in the belly of the Shinigami, as none of the others trapped there would be stupid enough to attempt fighting her, because she would almost certainly enjoy that – revealed the true nature of her construction.

It was a gigantic weapon to be carried with her ability to form storms and dropped on Konoha. If they had let her finish, Konoha's age of greatness would have surely ended. At best. And they would have attributed it to a natural disaster, a storm. If only the shrieking wind would have allowed it, he could have mentioned this to Guy and finally returned him to his senses.

Kakashi couldn't allow Ranma to escape here. She was far too dangerous. The children recovered or lost, he would have to make sure the redheaded devil would never be free to cause something like this again.

And if the form flying towards him, gliding gracefully through the storm, as if not at all hindered by either the wind or gravity was who he thought it was, he will have his chance.

Then Enma had once more come in Ranma's way – only this time she was prepared and dodged.

Ranma was grimacing in distaste at the powerful elder sticking to the side of the pole of the flying abomination she had inadvertently created. That Storm had to be stopped before it reached civilization, and the fireballs he was even now breathing out at her were making sure that would never happen. Ranma doubted she could convince him to stop using his main projectile attacks. 'Well then, no safety after all. This thing needs to be stopped.'

Ranma gathered every bit of acceleration this transcendent Storm had allowed her to, and charged. "Meteor Kick!"

The third Hokage was prepared to continue his fight. He could not allow her to take out Kakashi, or his loss would become certain. He knew he could not take the redhead down when she was flying about like she was, and that she knew that as well, so when she suddenly burst forward at speeds he believed only Guy himself was capable of, his surprise cost him the fraction of a second he could have used to counter her attack.

Instead, he was forced to block. Enma's staff form is nigh-indestructible, a fact to which Sarutobi had probably owed his life. The girl's attack was aptly named, and had hit with terrific force, releasing a wide shockwave over the horizon and plowing right through the base of the pole, to which he had deflected her. He owed it to all of his experience and strength from his days of youth that his arms were not broken. But now she was open.

The Hokage did not hesitate to take advantage of the situation, and struck with everything he had.

Ranma winced when that magic staff proved to be invulnerable, her legs hurting from the impact. Then, dodging the Hokage's counter too late, that pain stopped registering, as a loud crack had promised that her shoulder was broken and that hurt far more than a little bruising on her feet could hope to. But she was now at close-quarters, and holding that cursed staff. Ranma's smile had now promised pain, and she blurred at the Hokage, pulling on the monkey-staff to shake his balance and create an opening. One opening was all she would need.

Sarutobi, third Hokage of Konoha, fell.

And as he was falling, he could only think that he was right. She really did steal Konoha techniques. She defeated him with a variation on the Hyuga Gentle Fist. No longer having an influx of Chakra to maintain himself in the material plane, Enma disappeared in a gentle puff of smoke.

And, falling through the wind, a small, sad smile on his lips, the last thing the third Hokage saw was a pair of concerned blue, blue eyes. He smiled a genuine smile. "Naruto..." And then there was only darkness.

#######################################

Slowly overwhelmed by cuts and bruises, disorientation, dizziness, wind, his inability to get the time to form a single Jutsu, being attacked by a child-sized squirrel that looked half as fast as Guy; that had guarded the end of the wing he was on for no discernible reason, and finally; most of all; the raw emotion at seeing his Hokage fall after being struck by the redheaded devil, Hatake Kakashi faded to black.

Guy held the collapsed form of his Eternal Rival, but of this victory he wasn't proud. Soon after the fighting started, he had realized the Hokage really was who he was claiming to be. Still, his heart had told him Ranma had truly meant well. Now he would see if he had made a terrible mistake or prevented one.

#######################################

Ranma had floated over to Guy, handing him the unconscious form of the third Hokage with her good arm.

"Keep him safe. The old bastard is tough, but it's all skill. His body had long failed him. Right now he is just a frail old man." – Ranma was looking at Guy pleadingly – "This thing is now flying over Konoha, and the Storm is failing. I couldn't make it in time. You all need to get out of here. I have to make sure it does not land anywhere where it could hurt someone. The only thing near enough is the Hokage Monument, and that thing is not worth keeping at the price of thousands of innocent lives. After you land, you need to evacuate everyone you can from the area around the Monument. I will wait until it is starting to fall, and push this disaster at the mountain with everything I have."

Guy had let out a relieved sigh, releasing the breath he didn't even know he was holding. His youthful intuition was correct! This Saotome Ranma truly was most kind and filled with the Spirit of Youth!

"Go. I'm pretty sure you can land safely from here, somehow. You look like the type it would take an entire army to bring down. I can't risk leaving here. If I do, this could collapse at any time." Ranma finished, the sadness and resignation she felt obvious in her eyes.

Guy jumped, Kakashi over one shoulder, the Hokage over the other. Then, passing through a low cloud, he realized he can't summon with both hands full.

#######################################

Ranma was ready to finish this disaster. The conclusion to a terrible situation that could have been easily avoided was approaching. And now, everything was calm. The calm right before the fall of a storm, a titan that was threatening to plummet down. She could no longer fly.

Sitting on the center of the spinning wings forming the propeller that was allowing something never meant to leave the ground to fly, slowly spinning, Ranma gathered every trace of Ki she could gather up at once, concentrated it all into a single point in her good fist, and punched the post in its exact center. All the Ki used in the punch was instantly transformed into momentum, shooting the post at the Hokage Monument like a comet, Ranma flying off like a rag doll from backlash of the Impact. Now aided by gravity instead of fighting it, the wings were spinning fast enough to break the sound barrier and create multiple shockwaves over their path towards the mountain.

The colossal training pole hit like a spear from the Heavens, drilling straight through into the Monument, the wind displaced by its impact tearing apart and crushing anything and everything for almost a half a mile before dying down to a breeze.

When the blinding winds had died down and the citizens of Konoha could see again, they saw that a giant hole had been drilled into the side of the Monument. Exactly where the visage of the Fifth Hokage was to be.


	5. The Butterfly Effect

Author's Note: Did anyone notice the mystery "guardian" of the Great Log Ranma had warned his Genin about showed up near the end of the fight last chapter? I try to put in some small, subtle details like that in this story, then get disappointed and sad when nobody comments on it.

And about last chapter, although I didn't mention it – remember that Ranma stole a Konoha headband from the Academy? **She was still wearing it all throughout the battle against the Hokage**.

As for Ranma's training awakening Sasuke's Sharingan, that takes actual killing intent. As dangerously close to death as the training brings Team Seven, Ranma has no intent to kill them, and would rescue them when (not if) they are truly in mortal danger. It would take a real opponent who truly wishes to kill him to awaken Sasuke's Sharingan.

Finally, sorry that this chapter took so much longer than previous ones to finish. Really, it's just because I spent less time writing and more time reading. Expect irregular updates – but hopefully at least close to a chapter per week.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and Naruto belong to their respective authors. I make no money from this, nor am I attempting or planning to.

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Story Start:

Konoha was in chaos.

A weapon the size of the Hokage Tower had just shot down from the sky and made a large hole in the Hokage Monument in place of the future Fifth Hokage's face. The last living Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, was nowhere to be found; a note left in his office informing people that he had urgently left and taken Maito Guy and Hatake Kakashi with him to confront what he suspected to be a dangerous foreign agent. Both Kakashi and Guy, two of the strongest Jonin in the service of Konohagure, and reportedly the Hokage's escorts, were also missing. The shockwave from the impact had caused very low causalities, as few were close enough to be hit by its full might, but varying injuries were highly numerous.

Of course, Ninja were sent to the location the Hokage had reportedly left to. There, they found only destruction.

The entire land for miles was torn apart as if by an angry god, ancient trees and rocks the size of houses scattered about the landscape, which even now still bore the unmistakable signs of a battle between very powerful Ninja. Concerned ANBU, looking for any signs of their Third Hokage, had found only widespread devastation piled upon more concentrated oblivion had prevailed everywhere they looked, suggesting that truly great and ever-escalating powers were called upon by the Ninja that were fighting here. Evidence of both burns and – surprisingly – frostbite, had colored the ruptured earth and broken forest, spread out among numerous deep craters made by powerful impacts.

Additionally, evidence hinted that the enormous storm that had passed over Konoha just before the great wooden spear lanced down from the sky was created here, rising into the sky through the forest, from which it rained the debris visible for miles. It was only fortune that the debris had all fallen down before the storm had reached Konoha.

The population was in turmoil.

Ninja and civilians alike were disorganized, lacking leadership, scared, and panicking about Heaven's Wrath and the End of the World. Everyone had tried coming up with reasoning for the gaping hole now visible where the stone face of the next Hokage was to watch over the village: some believing it to be an Act of Heaven signaling the end of Konoha; some believing it to be a declaration of war from a faction who seeks to completely erase Konoha's future; others believing it to be the spirits of their ancestors expressing their anger at the lack of a fifth Hokage; yet others bringing forth increasingly abstract interpretations for the unprecedented event.

Regardless, all Ninja could agree that the Hokage going missing at this time, right after attempting to confront an unknown foe alarming enough for the Hokage himself to go personally, could not be a coincidence.

And the thought of an unknown Ninja, one that had infiltrated the village an undetermined length of time ago, that can defeat the Hokage and two of his best Jonin simultaneously had terrified them all. If such a Ninja was to attack now, armed with knowledge of the inner workings of the entire village, Konoha may not be able to survive as it is.

So when Kurenai Yuhi had seen Guy crawling towards her from the forest, covered with blood and pulling himself forward with his hands, both Kakashi and the Third Hokage unconscious on his back, it was perfectly understandable that her first response was to immediately grab all three and run as far away from that area of the forest as she could. After relaxing at the realization that a Kage-slaying demonic Ninja killing-machine was in fact **not** chasing them, Kurenai immediately turned to looking the three downed Ninja over for injuries, while pleading with Guy to explain what was happening.

"Guy, I know now that you are safe you probably want to rest, but this is critical for the safety of Konoha. Can you please explain exactly what happened to you?"

Guy, eyes glazed with pain and smiling deliriously, looked even more disturbing then he normally did. And that was not counting the massive bloodloss he was even now suffering from his shattered legs.

Looked approximately at Kurenai, Guy attempted to answer. The result wasn't very clear.

"Falling... can't summon with hands full... giant pole... Monument dangerous... evacuate..."

Feeling his message was delivered, and his comrades and himself were now safe, Guy collapsed.

Kurenai was trying to analyze the information supplied by Guy, while running to get the three unconscious Ninja medical attention. Kakashi looked particularly bad, every visible inch of his body bleeding and bruised.

'Guy was trying to warn us about that Spear that hit the Monument. That much is fairly obvious. Less clearly, he probably needed to summon while falling to help control and soften the landing, but his hands were full of something and for some reason he couldn't drop it to free them to save himself.'

Trying to imagine what might warrant such importance to the youth-obsessed Jonin, Kurenai had finally decided that, as if it was important enough to make Guy allow himself to break his legs to protect it, he had to be carrying it with him right now, which only left that he was carrying his fallen fellow leaf Ninja at the time of his fall.

'Well, that explains the broken legs. Even Guy can't take a drop from high enough to have seen that spear before it fell while carrying and protecting two people. However he got that high in the first place. Even Guy can't just jump _that_ high.'

Having finally reached the Konoha hospital, Kurenai grabbed the nearest Medic-Nin, and explained what she wanted. Loudly enough to be heard by curious Ninja coming and going to and from the hospital.

"I found the Hokage, and his escorts. They need medical attention. Get a medic team ready, and follow me. Now!"

Of course, when the panicking Medic-Nin had managed to bring back a full medical team, they had an escort made up of a good half of Konoha's Ninja forces following them. Annoyed at the tail she had picked, Kurenai snapped at the gathered Ninja.

"Don't all of you have anything better to do?"

To her surprise, most answered with a conclusive "No."

Naturally, with the Hokage missing, there were no orders coming from the top, and chaos had broken out as Ninja couldn't decide what needed to be done. Of course they would all want the Hokage to settle that problem and issue their orders when he was found.

So, leading the medic team, followed by a mob of curious Ninja, Kurenai headed back to the Third Hokage.

He would soon wish that he had stayed unconscious.

#######################################

When Naruto woke up, he was convinced that their sensei had succeeded and they had all died from that last fall when he was supporting all of them, and this was the afterlife.

His new surroundings did nothing to cause him to disbelieve this notion.

Trying to get up to see more than a sky made of flowing blue light above him, Naruto decided that this must be Hell, as _everything_ hurt. Even his Chakra felt in pain.

Dropping back down, Naruto could see his fellow teammates, and now murder victims, waking up to see what their afterlife looks like. They looked to be in just as much pain as Naruto himself felt.

After all three Genin took some time to recover from their attempt to move, Sasuke laughed, a hollow and hysterical sounding laugh. His eyes were glinting with malevolence and madness, completely unlike what his teammates knew the stoic Uchiha to act like.

"So our sociopath of a sensei won after all, didn't she? I died before you, even after everything, huh, Itachi? Well, you know what? I'm dead now, but I'm not going to stay here in the afterlife. I'm going to come back and haunt you for the rest of time, forever reminding you of your crimes! You will never have a moment of peace! I will always be there, whispering in your ear, causing you misfortune when it is most likely to kill you! I will not allow you to rest even in death, and will follow you back here to forever remind you of what you have done! Even in death, I will have my revenge!"

Sasuke erupted into another bout of demented laughter. Then Naruto punched him in the face.

"You know, you bastard, I don't know who this Itachi is or what he did to have you hate him this much, but I sure as hell won't let you ruin your afterlife just to have him suffer!"

Naruto looked furious at Sasuke's casual disregard of his own happiness, working through the searing pain he was feeling over every inch of his body, just so he can stand up and punch him.

Sasuke, responding in kind to Naruto's outrage, shakily stood up and charged Naruto, shouting his conviction at him while attacking.

"Shut up! You don't know what its like! I lost my happiness years ago when my own brother slaughtered our entire clan, and only left me alive because he didn't see me as worth killing! What did Itachi do to me? He betrayed me, my clan, and killed everyone I ever knew!"

Naruto's shock had allowed Sasuke to land a full-power uppercut straight at his chin, throwing him down.

"Yes, you never had any parents, but as bad as that might be you never had to see what you're missing – I got a taste of how it is to have a family, grew up with it, then had it torn away from me! I had parents, but my own brother betrayed me and took it all away! I can never be happy now, all because of Itachi! And that is why I will return the favor, and destroy his happiness!"

Sakura, forgotten by the two wrestling boys, listened to Sasuke's drive and purpose in life in growing horror until she couldn't take it anymore. 'This is the very antithesis of love! Sasuke couldn't possibly mean this...'

Then, she broke down and screamed at him.

"But why? Now that we are dead, why won't you go back to your family? It's obvious that you love them, so why would you keep away from them, let them suffer from your absence? I don't understand! If you always want to avenge the suffering your brother caused, how is it that you can't see going that far to do so will also hurt the very same people you want to avenge? In that case, wouldn't finding your own happiness after all be the best revenge you could get, showing him that despite everything he did, he is the only one left miserable and alone?"

For a moment, everything was quiet, Sakura shocked at her outburst in a lapse of control, scared at the response of her crush to her antagonizing him; while Sasuke and Naruto had both stopped fighting in order to integrate something that insightful coming from Sakura into their worldview, and what it actually meant for them.

Then Sakura was hit by a fireball.

Really, this came out of nowhere. There was no way to expect this.

She was hit in the back, from no visible source, throwing her down to the bleak ground with a scream of pain and surprise, smoke rising from the newly made wound at her back.

Naruto shouted in horror. "Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke, coming to his own conclusions about the situation, realized with a sinking feeling that only one person could be responsible for this. Really, it shouldn't be that surprising for them after everything they went through.

"Naruto, Sakura, we talk about all of this later. Right now we need to make sure sensei doesn't kill us. Again. Because nobody else could or would possibly start throwing fireballs randomly into the afterlife in some twisted attempt to cause us eternal pain and suffering until our souls finally give in and are destroyed."

All pain now ignored in favor of new and important instincts to survive that surface whenever their Jonin Sensei is mentioned or in any way involved, the three Genin did not trust that being already dead would hinder their sensei's efforts to kill them again by much. So when the next fireball appeared to strike Sasuke, he was prepared and had managed to stumble away in time to avoid being scorched. But the fireballs had come in increasing frequency and power, and they weren't showing any signs of stopping.

The three Genin had quickly resorted to diving behind and around the larger of the rocks that were the only features of their strangely silent and lifeless surroundings, the only life being in themselves, the multiplying flames, and the strange sky above them. The problem with that strategy was that the fireballs were now strong enough to shatter the rocks they were using to hide, and they were running out of shelter as fireballs materialized randomly all around them, sometimes dangerously close to one of them.

As they tired Genin scrambled around in search of a way to survive the onslaught of fire, they realized to their growing despair that their bodies, having not yet recovered from the training that had eventually killed them and sent them here, were slowing down. They were breaking apart from the inside out. And the fire was everywhere. Out of options, the Genin threw themselves together in a pile on the ground, enduring what few fireballs passed by, and played dead in hopes that they would be spared.

"You know, I'm starting to appreciate my continued existence a lot more." Sasuke admitted as a large fireball looked as if it would surely kill them all, until it was hit by another fireball coming from above it, causing both to explode.

"It shouldn't take nearly this much to show someone life is precious," – Naruto replied calmly, as he was tired of being scared by now – "we were all killed once already, and now that we are about to die _again_ – and we have nothing to do about it – only now you can tell? Seriously? Usually it only takes the mere threat of a single death of someone you like to teach that to somebody. Dimwit."

Sasuke didn't have the energy to find a retort to that, so he just smiled at Naruto's persistence at staying the same even in the face of certain, and probably slow and painful, death by fire.

Sakura was trying to come up with a cool speech to impress Sasuke that would serve as her final words, when the fire abruptly stopped.

None of the Genin dared to move or speak in the sudden silence, the sound and heat of flames absent for the first time in what felt like hours. Then Sakura asked, awed by the surprise at still being alive – 'well, at least in the afterlife' – whispered, as if afraid her words would summon the flames back to attack them again.

"Does she think we are dead again?"

Naruto replied, his hesitant tone showing his clear shock at their continued existence. "I think so. We actually did it this time. We lived through her attempt to kill us..."

Sasuke, having regained some of his regular attitude, added to that. "Unless she is just giving us false hope as she is preparing the final blow."

Sakura watched, relieved, as the other two members of Team Seven started a friendly argument, their previous fight completely forgotten in the face of lots of fire. Maybe they would be fine after all.

That optimism didn't last long, as after what was probably about a half hour, the sky suddenly dimmed.

And as they were arguing about what that could mean for a few minutes, the argument was abruptly stopped when parts of the sky just winked out, everything beneath those parts to disintegrate, turning into light in order to support the failing sky.

"Okay, Sasuke, you were right. She was evil enough to just give us false hope. Now how do we make sure we are nowhere near places where the sky turns off and everything dies?" Naruto admitted his perceived error, once more forgoing his normal impulsive and stubborn nature in favor of quick action and better chances to survive.

There was nothing to fight or dodge they could see here. Either the sky ate them, or it didn't.

Sasuke's reply was simple, and confirmed what both other Genin were thinking. "We run and pray."

#######################################

Ranma was in a lot of pain.

That was a good thing, because after a fall like that, she considered simple survival to be a very fortunate thing; and that much pain told her she was not only alive, but also going to stay that way for a while longer.

"Ouch."

Looking around from her impact crater as much as she could, Ranma could see many broken trees around a deep furrow in a straight path leading down from a nearby mountain.

'Ah, so that's why I'm still alive. I didn't have to absorb the impact all at once with minimal Ki reserves, I could do it gradually while sliding down that mountain. Of course, I still made an impact crater at the bottom, but it's much smaller then it would have been from a full-force fall from that height. After all the times Akane hit me, I know that much. Now to get some food, then figure out where I am.'

Primary objective decided, Ranma had slowly tested her body, working her way through the pain to make sure she could get up and move. Finishing with a grimace, Ranma staggered away into the woods in search of something she could eat. Food would give her energy, and that would make everything better.

Looking for food, it quickly became obvious to Ranma that this would be a lot more difficult then expected.

Wherever this Land of Fire was, plants here were not the same as she knew from her travels during the training trip that concluded at Jusenkyo. Not a big difference, but enough to possibly be poisonous. The last thing she needed now was a constant drain on her still-recovering Ki reserves in an attempt to purge her body of poison.

So, with plant life out, Ranma resorted to hunting. Of course, with the sort of impact she made getting here, any animals living in the area had certainly escaped by now. That meant the search would be long.

Fortunately, while searching for any animals who didn't run far, Ranma heard a river. Following the sound promising fresh fish, she soon had a few dozen fish cooking over a campfire, and a kettle heating up over a smaller fire to the side.

'I was a girl for way too long to be anywhere near comfortable by now. If I have to be in lots of pain, I can at least get to do it as a guy. Of course, food comes first.'

And at that, Ranma had made short work of the fish.

Shortly later, Ranma, now male no longer as hungry as before, proceeded to his original objective.

'Now, I couldn't have been knocked too far from Konoha, so if I just follow this river to the nearest human settlement, I should be able to just ask for directions, then come back to finish teaching the mini-Ninja and get the hell away and back home. Well, I will probably still have random challenges in between, but that shouldn't be too much trouble.'

Then, proving he really was Genma's son, Ranma immediately brightened at a sudden insight.

'That's right! Now I have students to do that sort of thing _for_ me! Why would I have to suffer challenges from random Ninja when I can always just use them as training for my students? Being a teacher is great! I should probably find some new students in Nerima once I get back...'

That particular insight was followed by a far less comfortable one, as Ranma had suddenly remembered **where** his students were. 'Crap. Well, I hope they didn't freak out and start killing each other or something...'

With a resigned sigh, Ranma tapped his no-longer-critical Ki reserves to open a gateway, out of which tumbled three feral Genin, all looking exhausted, delirious, and on full alert. An instant after having stumbled out, all three Genin, a hint of madness in their eyes, had ignored their new and drastically different surroundings in favor of backing up against each other in an attempt to cover any openings one of them might individually present.

Sakura was facing Ranma, so she was the first to notice him, warily eying the unknown. Then, with a groan, Ranma had noted with distaste that his Curse chose that particular moment to be overwhelmed by the Chakra Naruto was somehow **still** throwing around, although he should be completely exhausted

Then the pink haired Genin erupted in complete panic. She could recognize that ridiculously crazy redhead anywhere. And this was their worst-possible case scenario. Their sensei decided to finish them herself.

"Dammit, sensei's nearby! I don't want to die again! Not now that I can finally talk with Sasuke-kun!"

Ranma blinked in surprise.

"Wait, why would you think me being here means you would die? And _again_?"

The question mark above her head was almost visible.

Wary, Naruto asked slowly, as if expecting to be attacked at any moment.

"So you **don't** want to kill us again? How can we trust you?"

This only confused Ranma further.

"Wait, what the hell? What do you all mean by _again_? Of course you're still alive you idiotic brats!"

The Genin didn't look very convinced, but Sasuke decided to keep talking, as the longer they talked, the longer they had to recover from the waking nightmare they had just went through. Their sensei looked like she was just in a really rough fight. Maybe she was tired and injured enough for them to be able to escape if they were better. Maybe.

"If we didn't die, then were did we just come from? That place sure didn't look like anywhere in the Elemental Countries. And we couldn't use any Chakra there. And t_he sky was made of __**blue light**_.

Even if that was not the afterlife, it's still obvious that you are trying to kill us. That's why you filled the entire damn area with fireballs until we had to give up and just lie down hoping a fireball doesn't hit us! And, as if that wasn't enough, then you destroyed half of the freaking world all around us! Of course you were trying to kill us!"

Ranma had to cringe at the descriptions of the things the Genin had to go through. She had a good idea at to what those things were.

'Okay, the fireballs were obviously the ones the old man was spitting at me, I completely forgot I put the brats in there when storing them – but destroying half the world? Wow, I was much closer to death then I thought if I was injured enough for my Ki-pocket to actually start collapsing. It takes almost nothing to maintain. That could have been really dangerous for them. I have no idea what being in another person's collapsing Ki-pocket would do to a person.'

'Well, I obviously can't tell them what actually happened – despite everything else he may have been, Genma was a really damn good teacher – and he made it very clear that the student may never doubt their teacher's power until they really are good enough to be a challenge to the teacher. And those brats are nowhere near good enough to last five minutes at their best.'

'Well, the final result of all this crap wasn't that far off from training, and actually made up for the heat resistance conditioning they missed when that giant training post was destroyed. Except for the Ki-pocket collapsing, of course. That was just dangerous. But _they_ don't need to know how dangerous it was.'

Her decision made, Ranma replied, the Genin already sweating in fear while awaiting her response to their accusation that she was trying to kill them with dread.

"Well, I had to catch you when you fell at the end of the tree walking training, and then you were just slacking off resting. This was just punishment for that. It wasn't the afterlife, I just put you in my pocket for a while. As for not being able to use Chakra – of course you couldn't you idiots! You were all suffering from Chakra exhaustion since you fell from the training post!"

For a while, the Genin were just slack-jawed in shock at the response. She actually expected them to believe that?

And, even worse, was that it was really believable. That would be just like her. Sadistic and nearly fatal, yet not granting them the mercy of actual death – after all, that would stop the pain.

Then _everything_ she said penetrated.

"Your **pocket?**"

The Genin weren't sure who said this first, but all three of them were convinced they must have heard that wrong. There was just no way that could be right. It was completely impossible, in every way they could think of. A crime against reality itself.

"Yes. My pocket. Space that is somehow – I'm not quite clear exactly _how_ – preserved by my power, where I can store pretty much anything. Where did you think everything I use in your training comes from?" Ranma casually answered, cementing the Genin's opinion that she was completely insane, and probably not even human.

Then, with much more satisfaction and happiness in her voice then could be appropriate, Ranma gave the Genin their next task..

"Well, now that you are finished playing in there, back to training. You are too exhausted for the normal training I use, so now you will do information gathering. We are not in Konoha. Figure out where we are and how to get back to Konoha within the day. You will also need to find your own food. Have fun!"

'Scratch that, definitely not human. She has to be some kind of demon that feeds of off our misery! This is completely ridiculous! This so called "training" **never** stops!'

Oblivious to her students' suffering, Ranma just leaned back and waited, wondering if they would notice the river and come to the same conclusions as her. It shouldn't take long. They weren't complete idiots.

As she had expected would happen, the Genin had soon noticed the river. However, to Ranma's pleasant surprise, Sakura hadn't only realized following it would lead to civilization, but that the fish in it are an easy and good source of food. Following that the Genin had, before going anywhere else, settled on the riverbank using her own previous camp arrangements.

The difficulty they had catching fish was hilarious.

"Dammit, Naruto, scare them _this way_! Just scaring them isn't the point! We need to eat **now**, and I don't want to know what our sensei would choose as punishment if we don't figure out the way back to Konoha **today**! That pocket thing was more than enough for me!"

All three shuddered at their memory of _that_ particular incident. That just _had_ to be a murder attempt.

"If you think it's that easy, come down here and try it yourself Sasuke, you bastard!"

Sasuke looked like he wanted to retort, but then thought better of it.

"You're right. I shouldn't have trusted you to not mess this up in the first place. You are about as subtle as a charging rhino."

And at that, Sasuke jumped in the river, methodically fencing fish into swimming into the net the Genin had set up beforehand. Naruto, sizzling in frustration at Sasuke's easy success at what he had been working to achieve fruitlessly, had quickly adapted to the situation and started copying Sasuke's actions. After all, if it worked, it was worth using.

After a quick, small burst of fire breathed by Sasuke, they were cooking the fish over a fire made from the branches already collected for Ranma's own meal. They waited for the food to be ready in silence, each Genin thinking about how different being a Ninja turned out to be from what they imagined. Mortal danger was as present as they had expected, maybe even more so, but instead of from enemy Ninja and bandits, it came from their own Jonin Sensei!

Their meal finished, the Genin headed along the river, going downstream in hopes of finding a village. Ranma silently followed, happy that it looked like someone else was about to suffer from the weird adventures she normally had to go through herself, while she could just sit on the sidelines and watch.

#######################################

Really, Ranma should have known better than that.

Her luck would **never** let her just _watch_ chaos unfold from the sidelines. Being a "her" whenever around Naruto was proof enough of **that**.

'Of course, that means the Kami saw it fit to make Naruto an all-purpose chaos-generator I can never avoid exploding at me. I would just have to make sure to drag my students down with me.'

When they got to the town at first, things were going smoothly. Which really should have set off her alarms, but Ranma had been too careless in her belief that the suffering was reserved for her students here.

The Genin had decided to split up and ask different people for instructions to make sure they got the correct directions, as Sakura had suggested they do. A good idea, certainly. Then Naruto, in some bizarre stroke of genius, had moved on and tried questioning people about his teacher. 'Really, if he is that intelligent, why in the world doesn't he actually use his brain more often?'

"Hey, do you know anything about a new Konoha Jonin? She looks really young and short, and has red hair – oh, and she's also really strong and really, really evil. Anything you know would help. Please..."

Naruto was looking up at the man he was asking this from, eyes shining in silent pleading. He was good at this.

And the answer was far more surprising then anything Ranma or her team could have possibly expected. The man had leaned in towards Naruto, suddenly serious, as if imparting an important life lesson.

"Hey, kid, I know that people say she's evil for what she did, but that's not fair to judge her like that. The Angel of Storms was just warning us, trying to help Konoha see that they need a new Hokage now, before someone takes advantage of the Third's age to completely destroy the village, not just punch a giant hole in the Monument like she did. By putting a hole where the face of the Fifth would be, she said as clearly as possible that the position has been empty for too long."

Then, with a look of distaste at something he had just thought about, the man continued his speech, by now oblivious as to the shell-shocked Konoha Genin in front of him.

"I'm not telling you to go join one of those new cults worshiping her that started popping up after she made that hole, that would just be stupid – but don't you go calling her evil here. If she really was evil, she could have killed the Third and those Jonin he took with him, or throw that giant spear at the village instead of the mountain. Just the fact that they are all still alive and recovering as we speak, and that Konoha still stands, that's already enough to show everyone that the Angel really means well."

Satisfied with a good life lesson given, the man nodded to himself and walked away.

When he had moved out of sight, Naruto had recovered, and with a look of complete disbelief had started looking around rapidly in an attempt to locate his sensei so he could question her about the what the crazy person had just told him.

At that, Ranma herself had recovered from the shock, and grabbed Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke, ignoring their protests and running away from the village to explain things.

'Okay, crazy cults worshiping me is new. Now I just have to make sure Kuno doesn't hear about this. **Ever**.'

When safely away, Ranma had finally let her students go, the Genin disheveled from the whiplash of her rapid movements and confused about the whole situation.

"Okay, Naruto, I admit that trying to gather information about me was a good idea, but you also need to _use_ the information you get. When you hear there are cults devoted to me forming around here, you **do not** draw attention to me. **That** is just blatant stupidity. We **do** **not **want cultists popping out from everywhere to start following us. That _will not end well._"

When Sasuke and Sakura realized they couldn't open their mouth to talk because it was already hanging wide open, they responded to the most disturbing piece of information they had heard.

"Ah ha! I knew it! You really are a demon!"

Sasuke's statement was made with an air of finality, as if it had been proven beyond all doubt.

"Sensei... You _have_ _cults devoted to you_? **Why?**"

The misery consuming her in Sakura's question was clearly audible.

"Sensei... You actually went as far as blowing a giant hole through the Hokage Monument just to show people they need to make me the Fifth Hokage already? *sniff* I can't believe I actually thought you were a demon like that jerk Sasuke! I'm going to make the most awesome cult worshiping you! Believe it!"

Ranma couldn't suppress a miserable groan at how things were spiraling out of control.

'One of my students thinks I'm a demon, another is having a mental breakdown, and the third wants to form a Ninja-cult worshiping me. When I find whatever Kami is responsible for this, **their pain will never end**.'

This time, Ranma avoided thinking that this couldn't get worse. She knew it would.


End file.
